Xa Umthande Wakho Unomdlavuza Weengculaza

Uqala phi xa umthandayo enomdlavuza wamaphaphu? Unokwenza njani uncedo olungcono xa uhlangabezana nokutya kunye nentlungu.

Kuya kuba kuhle ukuba sonke sinomcebisi onamava oye wahamba uhambo kufuneka sihambe xa sithandwa ngumhlobo wethu. Sekunjalo, ngendlela esenza ngayo, kwaye ivela ekuphulaphuleni abo "babekho" njengelungu losapho okanye umhlobo.

Masibelane ngeengcamango kunye nokuqonda kwabo bathathe uhambo njengomthandwa womntu onomdlavuza wamaphaphu phambi kwethu kwaye sithetha ngeengcebiso ababenqwenela ukudlulela.

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Xa Umthande Wakho Unomdlavuza Weengculaza

Ukucaciswa kokuqala ukwenza xa uthetha xa umthandayo onomdlavuza wamaphaphu, kukuba wonke umntu uhlukile.

Kwaye njengokuba wonke umntu onomdlavuza-nokuba nabantu abanomxholo ofanayo kunye nesigaba somhlaza-uhlukile, oko kusebenza kwaye akusebenzelanga njengomnakekeli kunokungafani nento enokunceda omnye umntu kwindawo yakho. Ngethuba elifanayo, ezinye zezinto esizabelana ngazo apha zinokuhlawulela nawe. Khetha oko uvakalelwa kuya kuba luncedo kwaye ulahle into engekho.

Ukunyamekela umthandayo ngomhlaza ngumnye wemisebenzi ehloniphekileyo enokuyidlala ebomini. Kukho izinto ezimbalwa abantu abazenzayo kwixesha lokuphila ebaluleke kakhulu. Oko kwathiwa, iidala zokudala, "zinyaniseke kuwe" kwaye "kufuneka uzikhathalele kuqala" zazingasondelanga inyaniso. Zama ukuziva unetyala xa ufuna ukuzibeka kuqala, kwaye qinisekisa ukuba udibanise iimfuno zakho (nokuba uthe cwaka).

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Zibophezele kwaye uzilungele iMarathon

Umdlavuza womlenze ngumqhudelwano, kungekhona i-sprint. Kanye njengoko uza kuhamba xa ugijime umqhudelwano, zihambelane nohambo owenzayo njengomgcini wongomdlavuza.

Nangona kukho iimeko eziphuthumayo, ezininzi izigqibo akufanele zenziwe ngokukhawuleza. Xa umhlobo wakho eqala ukufunyanwa ngumboni, unokuziva unqabile. Kwaye nangona kukho izigaba eziqhelekileyo abantu bahamba ngokuvuma ukuxilongwa komhlaza, zonke iinyawo zokungavumi ukuvutha umsindo zingenzeka kuloo mihla yokuqala. Ukuba uziva ukhubazekile, njengendlala kwizibane, jonga ezi ngcebiso kumanyathelo okuqala ukuthatha emva kokuxilongwa komhlaza .

Esikhundleni sokuzimela ngokwomileyo, qwalasela inkqubo yakho yoxhaswa ngumthandayo kunye nabahlobo bakho nabathandekayo. Eli lixesha elifanelekileyo lokufunda ukuthumela. Thatha isikhashana ukuqwalasela iitalente ezikhethekileyo nezipho zabahlobo bakho kunye nosapho. Ziziphi iindlela abanokukunceda ngazo ngamnye xa kuvela imingeni?

Abanye abantu baye bafumanisa kukunceda ukuthenga iphepha lokunyamekela kwangoko emva kokuxilongwa. Kwiphepha elitsha zama ukubhala phantsi nawuphi na abahlobo, amalungu omndeni, abaqhelana nabo kunye namaqela ochaphazelekayo kunye necawa kunye nokunye. Xa uziva ukhululekile, kufuneka ube yiindawo ezimbini ngelo xesha, okanye ufune umzuzu ukuzinyamekela wena, uya kuba nolwahlu lwabantu onokuqhagamshelana nabo ukuze ufumane inkxaso kunye nenkxaso. Kuyamangalisa ukuba kulula kangakanani ukuhamba ezi ngxabano xa amagama akho omthandayo efanelekileyo phambi kwakho.

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Funda Nge-Cancer's's Cancer

Thatha ixesha lokufunda ngomhlaza wakho omthandayo. Uphando lubonisa ukuba abantu abameli babo kunye nokuzifundisa bafumana iziphumo ezingcono kunabo abangenalo. Unokumkhuthaza njani umthandayo?

Buza imibuzo. Ukuhambelana nomthandane wakho ukutyelela i-oncology uze uthathe amanqaku. Yenza uluhlu lwemibuzo.

Kunokwenzeka ukuba ufumane ulwazi oluchanekileyo lwezokwelapha kwi-intanethi , kodwa kubalulekile ukuqwalasela iziza. Ingaba ulwazi lubhalwa okanye luhlolwe ngugqirha oqinisekisiweyo webhodi? Ingcaciso ihlaziywe nini? Ngaba imithombo ichazwe ukuze ukwazi ukuphanda oko ufundayo ngokubanzi? Zama ukunamathela kwiindawo ezinolwazi ezihloniphekileyo zempilo .

Ukufunwa ngolwazi lwezokwelapha kumntu wakho othandekayo lunokuba lukhohlisayo kwaye kubalulekile ukubukela ibhalansi efanelekileyo. Ukuthatha ixesha lokuphanda umhlaza wakhe kukubonakalisa ukuba uyamkhathalela, kodwa ngelo xesha, abo abanomdla wambi bavuthiwe ngeengcamango zokuba baqeshwe. I-Cancer yenza okwaneleyo ukunciphisa isithunzi ngaphandle kokuziva umntu kufuneka adle kakhulu. Zama ukulinganisela kodwa uqaphele ukuba isenzo sokulinganisela rhoqo kunye noshintsho usuku nosuku.

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Uncedo lokunciphisa iStigma

Ukuba umhlobo wakho sele ejongene nomdlavuza wamaphaphu ixesha elithile, andifuni ukubonisa intshutshiso yomdlavuza wamaphaphu . Ngokuchasene namagama enkathalo kunye nenkxaso yabantu abaninzi xa bewabelana ngokuxilongwa kwabo, amazwi okuqala athetha nomntu onomdlavuza wamaphaphu kaninzi: "Ude umsi?" Oku kwenzekayo kungakhathaliseki nokuba umntu akabheki, okanye akayi kuqwalasela ukuba sonke sinemikhwa engabangela umdla kumhlaza, nokuba ngaba ukutya, ukuhlala kwindlovu, okanye uxinzelelo oluninzi.

Isinyathelo sokuqala kukuphepha ukuzakhela kule ngcwaba kwindawo yokuqala. Imibuzo enjengale "ungafuni ukuba uyeke ukutshaya kwangaphambili?" Akukho ndawo kule ndawo. Unokuqiniseka ukuba uninzi lwabantu abanomdlavuza sele belukhuphe ngokwaneleyo kwesi sibini baqikelele bona. Nangona kungaphaya kokubukela amagama akho, unendima efanelekileyo njengommeli wakho othandekayo ukuwakhumbuza ukubaluleka kwabo nokudlala ukuphazamiseka.

"Khusela" umthandayo kwaye uthathe uxanduva xa kufuneka. Xa abantu bebuza umthandayo wakho malunga nokubhema kwayo kungathi kube lixesha elifanelekileyo lokungena kulo, uphendule ngothandekayo wakho kwaye unikeze imfundo. "Nabani onemiphunga bangakwazi ukufumana umdlavuza wamaphaphu." Mhlawumbi le yithuba lokuba umntu azi ukuba kukho abangabininzi ababesifayeli abafa ngenxa yomdlavuza wamaphaphu ngamnye ngonyaka kunokuba ngubani obulawa ngumhlaza wesibele. Mhlawumbi lixesha lokubonelela ngemfundo kwinqanaba elibanzi: "Akukho mntu unomdlavuza. Wonke umntu onomdlavuza wamaphaphu ufanelwe uthando, imfesane, kunye nokunyamekela kwonyango."

Njengoko uqala olu hambo kunye nomthandayo, khangela ezinye zezi ngcamango malunga nendlela yokujamelana neengxaki ezingenakukhupha xa unomdlavuza wamaphaphu kunye nezinto ezingabhekanga kumntu onomdlavuza wamaphaphu .

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Ukubonelela ngenkxaso

Ekuqaleni, oku kunokuba kulula ukuzwakala- "ukubonelela ngenkxaso engenammiselo" -kodwa kuya kuba yinto enzima kunayo yonke into oyenzayo.

Akunomdla kuphela umqhudelwano, kodwa abo bahlala nomdlavuza wamaphaphu bajamelana nokuyika nokungaqiniseki, umsindo kunye nentlungu. Imvakalelo yeCarter ingasebenza ngamandla, kwaye inzulu, kwaye utshintshe amaxesha amaninzi nangomhla omnye. Kukho iintsuku apho ungathanda ukubamba indiza yelizwe lonke ngaphandle kokuba ubekho kumthande wakho.

Njengoko kuphawuliwe kwangaphambili, ukubonelela ngenkxaso engenammiselo kuthetha ukushiya ukuvavanywa kwezizathu zomdlavuza wamaphaphu kubaphandi nakwi-epidemiologists. Inendima yakho kukunceda umntu obathandayo abe nomuva onamandla kwaye afumane unyango olungcono kunokwenzeka nantoni na ayenayo ekwenzeni ukudala umhlaza.

Hlola ezi ngcebiso zokuxhasa othandayo ngomhlaza . Nangona ezinye zazo ziyi-intuitive, kukho ezinye izinto abantu abaziqondi ngokwenene baze bafumane ukuba banomdlavuza. Ubomi butshintshwa xa umntu efumana isifo sokuxilongwa "C".

Enye imbongo ebalulekileyo apha kukuba umthandayo uya kudingeka ukuba achaze iimvakalelo zakhe ezimbi . Ngokuqhelekileyo, abantu baxelelwa ukuba kufuneka bahlale bejonga isimo sengqondo sokuphila komhlaza. Oku akunjalo nje. Akukho zifundo ezibonisa ukuba nesimo sengqondo esifanele sinezinto ezinokuyenza ngokusinda. Ngokwahlukileyo, ukubamba iimvakalelo ezimbi ngaphakathi kwaye uzame ukumomotheka kwaye ube nesibindi 24/7 kunokulimaza. Vumela othandekayo wakho.

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Cinga ngeemeko ezizodwa ezifana neeeholide eziphambili kwexesha

Iiholide zihlala zixinzeleleka nakubantu abangenayo umdlavuza. Ukongeza umhlaza kwi-equation kungaba yintlobo yokugqibela kwikhamela ngaphandle kokuba uceba ixesha elide. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ngokuqwalasela ngokucokisekileyo, oku kungabakho ixesha elikhethekileyo lokuzonwabisa.

Ukubeka phambili kunye nokwenza lula ishedyuli yakho yesiqhelo yeeholide yinyathelo elikhulu ekunciphiseni uxinzelelo lwexesha. Nciphise inani lemisebenzi, kwaye uqinisekise ukuba ushiye ukuguquguquka kwizicwangciso zakho zokuvumela iingxaki ezingenakukupheka ezinokuvela ngokuxilongwa komhlaza.

Thatha ixesha lokucinga malunga nelixesha lithetha ntoni kuwe. Abanye abagxininisa umdlavuza baye bafumana ukuphilisa ekwenzeni ixesha lixesha lokuxolelwa ngenxa yeengxabano zangaphambili. Awukwazi ukulandela isithethe njengoko unayo ngaphambili, kodwa oku akusoloko kubi. Cinga iindlela onokuzenza ngayo iinkumbulo ezintsha-eziza kukuphatha ngeenyanga ezibusika ezinokuthi zilandele iiholide.

Hlola ezi ngcebiso malunga nokujongana neeholide njengomguli wesigulane .

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Zizinakekele

Siyazi ukuba uninzi lwakho luya kuphelisa xa sithi, "Zigcine." Kwaye siyakwazi ukuva ukubuyisana. "Ngubani ophethe ixesha xa umthandayo unomdlavuza?" "Kukho iiyure ezingama-24 kuphela ngosuku." Siyazi. Siye apho, kwaye siyazi ukuba ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka sibeke iimfuno zethu neemfuno kwi-burner yangemuva.

Kukho izinto onokuzenza ukuze uzihloniphe ukuba ungathathi iiyure zexesha lakho. Kungabonakala kunyanzelekile, kodwa thabatha umzuzwana uze ubhale imisebenzi embalwa oya kuyifumana nokuphulukisa wena wedwa. Ingaba imizuzu eyi-10 ukucwina kwi-tub kunye nekhandlela? Xa uziva ukhululekile, okanye umbi kakhulu, unetyala ngokuthatha ixesha, cinga oko ungathanda ukuba umthandayo enze ntoni ukuba iitafile ziphendukile.

Khangela ezinye zezi ngcebiso ekunyamekeleni njengoko unomdla umntu onomdlavuza ngeengcamango malunga nokubuyisela umoya wakho ngelixa unakekela omnye.

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Qaphela kwaye Ube Nomsindo Wakho

Kanye njengoko wakho umthandayo evezela ukuxilongwa kwakhe, uya kuba nosizi. Ukuba wakho umthandayo unesifo esichengileyo, loo ntlungu ibonakala ngokukhawuleza, kodwa ixhala ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi.

Unokuba usizibalalisa ukulahlekelwa kwexesha lakho eliqhelekileyo oqhele ukuchitha ukwenza enye into. Unokuba usizi ngenxa yokulahlekelwa ngumhlobo wakho. Usenokuba usihlungu ixesha abantwaba bakho abangenalo nomzali ngenxa yokuxilongwa. Usenokuba usizi ngenxa yokulahlekelwa yokhuselo lwemali umhlaza.

Naluphi na usizi lwakho, thatha ixesha lokuqonda iimvakalelo zakho. Ngamanye amaxesha abantu kufuneka basebenze ngenxa yokukhathazeka kwabo ngaphambi kokuba bancede umntu omthandayo. Ngomdla kukho kukho uxhalaba olulindelekileyo - iimvakalelo zokulahlekelwa kunye nokulahleka esizivakalayo nangaphambi kokuba kulahleke ilahleko.Cima ezinye iingcebiso malunga nokujamelana nentlungu ebangela ukuba wena kunye nomthandayo.

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Fumana iNkxaso yangaphandle

Kanye njengoko umthandayo efuna inkxaso evela kuwe, kubalulekile ukuba ufumane inkxaso evela kwinethiwekhi yakho yabahlobo.

Nangona unokuba nohlobo oluxhasayo lwabahlobo, kukho into ekhethekileyo ngokuthetha nomntu ojongene nemingeni efanayo. Ngaba kukho nawaphi na amaqela okuxhasa abanomdla kummandla wakho?

Amaqela enkxaso ye-intanethi kunye noluntu lunemivuzo embalwa kubantu abanomdla wabantu abanomdlavuza wamaphaphu. Ngokungafani namaqela enkxaso yesifo somhlaza, isakhelo esilungiselelwe amalungu omndeni wabantu abanomdlavuza wamaphaphu kwindawo enokuhlala kuyo kunzima ukuza. Ukuhamba kwi-intanethi kukunika ukufikelela kubantu abangaphila amawaka eekhilomitha kude, kodwa banokuqonda kakuhle oko uvakalelwa. Enye inzuzo kukuba awudingi ukushiya ekhaya ukujoyina le yoluntu kunye namanye amalungu atholakalayo 24/7. Ezinye zezi ziquka:

• I-LUNGevity's Career Centre Centre
• Ikhululekile ukuya kwiNkonzo yokuHlanganisa nokuPhepha-enokukufanisa nomnye umnakekeli womhlaza wemiphunga

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Xhoma kwiHOPE

Kukho izizathu ezininzi zokuxhomekeka kwithemba njengoko umthandayo ojamelana nomdlavuza wamaphaphu.

• Zonyango ziphucula.
• Kukho abantu abasinde ixesha elide-nangona isigaba somhlaza wesi-4 somhlaza.
• Kukho inkxaso.
• AWUKHO wedwa.

Ngaba unzima kwimizamo yakho yokwenzela ithemba kumntu wakho othandekayo?

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Amanyathelo alandelayo kuMgudu wakho wokuNakekela

Nangona wonke umntu ejongene nohambo oluhlukile, kukho ukufana ngendlela. Enye yezibonelelo zethu ezizithandayo ekubeni ngumnyamekeli womthandayo ngomhlaza wamaphaphu, akabhalwa ngugqirha. Akuzange kubhalwe ngu-ntlalontle okanye umlawuli we-non-profit. Endaweni yoko, yashicilelwa ngumntu owaziyo indawo yokukhathalela ngokucace ngakumbi kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo. Uhambo lweNtsholongwane: Umboniso womncedisi kwiSihlalo soMgibeli nguCynthia Siegfried ibali lohambo lwakhe njengoko exhasa umyeni wakhe onomdlavuza wamaphaphu ngokusebenzisa i-ups and downs kunye ne-coorkscrews yobomi.

Mhlawumbi ufuna ukubhala uhambo lwakho. Ukuhambisa uhambo lwakho lononophelo lomhlaza kungabangela unyango xa ushiya ilifa lentsapho yakho.

Nangona nabani na onakekela umthandane nomhlaza wamaphaphu baya kukuxelela ukuba indlela inzima kwaye inzima, yenye yezona zinto zinkulu kakhulu ongayenza njengomntu ukuba wabelane ngothando lwakho. Mhlawumbi uya kuphefumlelwa ukuba ube ngummeli kwabanye abajongene nomdlavuza wamaphaphu, kodwa okokuqala, funde ukuba ungatsho ukuthini ukuzinyamekela. Ufanelekile!

> Imithombo:

> I-American Cancer Society. Ukujamelana neCarcer Daily Life. http://www.cancer.org/treatment/treatmentsandsideeffects/emotionalsideeffects/copingwithcancerinedaydaylife/-message-of-hope-for-spouses-families-friends

> INational Cancer Institute. Iintsapho kunye nabahlobo. Ukuhlaziywa nge- 11/06/17. https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping/family-friends