Iingxelo ezinokuthi zibuhlungu kumntu onomhlaza we-Lung
Amagama omnene, ukubukeka komusa, izenzo zothando kunye nokufudumala kwamandla, oku kubakho ububele xa amadoda enenkathazweni elwa neemfazwe zabo ezingabonakali. " - uJohn Hall
Kule minyaka, sinabantu abaninzi kakhulu abanomdlavuza wamaphaphu emzimbeni wabo ngenxa yokwahluleka kwezimvo ezenziwe ngabahlobo nabathandekayo. Akunabo nje kuphela oku kuthethwa kakubi, kodwa baye baziva bephazamisekile, beza ngexesha apho abantu befuna uthando kunye nenkxaso eninzi kunokwenzeka.
Uninzi lwexesha, ezi ngxelo ziyenziwa ngeenjongo ezilungileyo; Abantu abazami ukulimaza kwaye babangela intlungu. Ngokuphambene noko, amaninzi kula manqaku azama ukuxhuma kunye nokwabelana ngengqiqo.
Into ebonakala yenzakalisa kumntu onomdlavuza ayinokuba nengqiqo kuwe. Abantu abaninzi abaphila nomhlaza baye baxela ukuba akuwona amagama athetha okwenzakala kakhulu, kodwa kunoko oko bawafunda kumazwi. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba umhlaza wakho ukhulelwe okanye u-NED (akukho ubungqina besifo), ngenxa yobubele nokukhathazeka unokuva abantu bethetha, " Uyazi njani ukuba umhlaza wakho uyeke? " Kunokuba uzive uthanda kunye nokukhathazeka iinjongo ezinjengalezi zingabangela ukuxhalaba ngokuphindaphindiweyo kunye nokuba nomntu onesizungu njengoko uqaphela ukuba uwedwa kunye nomzimba wakho ohambweni lwakho nomhlaza.
Njengoko ufunda olu luhlu, ungazijezisi ukuba wenze ngokungazenzisiyo ezinye zezi mpendulo kubahlobo abanomdlavuza.
Sonke sinamathele ezinyaweni zethu emlonyeni ngamanye amaxesha, kunye nomhlobo wakho onomdlavuza owenziwe kakhulu (kwaye usenza njalo) izimvo ezingabangela ubuhlungu kwabanye abantu abanomdlavuza. Abantu abanomhlaza bayaxolela, kodwa ukukhumbula amazwi esiwasebenzisayo kunokunceda umntu onomdla ukuba aziva mhlawumbi i-tad encinane kwindlela.
Kuphazamisekile ukuva malunga "nezinto eziphosakeleyo ukuthetha" ngaphandle kokuba nesisombululo. Ngoko kunye neengcamango ezingezantsi, siya kuphakamisa ezinye izinto onokuzenza. Gcina ukhumbule ukuba amaxesha amaninzi akukhona nje amazwi ethu kuphela abantu "abava," kodwa ulwimi lwethu lomzimba; Ulwimi lucatshulwa ukuba lugxile kwi-50 ukuya kwi-70 ekhulwini lezonxibelelwano. Ukuba ufuna ukuthumela umyalezo ocacileyo kumhlobo wakho ukuba uza kuba khona kwaye ufuna ukukunceda, qinisekisa ukuba umzimba wakho udlulisela lawo mazwi ngokunjalo.
1. Ungathethi: " Ude Ude Umsindo Kangakanani? "
Kubonakala ngathi phantse ukuba bonke abaphila nomdlavuza wamaphaphu, elinye lamagama okuqala umntu athi xa beva ukuxilongwa kwabo "Ude utshaya ixesha elingakanani." Kwabanye abantu abanomdlavuza wamaphaphu, la mazwi awakhathazeki, okanye adibanisa ukulimala kwabo ngamazwana afana nomdlali womhlaza omnye wamaphaphu owenziwe: " Ndiyabonga ngokuba undixelele ukuba ndifanelwe ukuba nomdlavuza wamaphaphu ." Kodwa kubantu abaninzi, le mibuzo ibuhlungu kakhulu, njengoko bevakalelwa kukuba bayabangela isifo sabo. Ukongeza kokulimaza ngokomzwelo, ukuhlaselwa komdlavuza wamaphaphu kunene kukhokelela abantu abathile abanomdlavuza wamaphaphu ukufumana unyango olungonelanelekanga, njengoko beziva bengakufanelekanga unyango olufanelekileyo. Abantu abaqhelekanga babuze malunga nokutshaya.
Esikhundleni saloo nto, ngokuqhelekileyo yindlela yokuziqinisekisa bona "ikhuselekile. " Ngokomzekelo, ukuba umntu onomdlavuza wamaphaphu uphelile okanye utshaye ixesha elide, oko kwenza ukuba omnye umntu abe nethuba lokuphuhlisa isifo esiphantsi.
Kukho iindlela ezininzi zokuphila esizenzayo ezinokuphakamisa umngcipheko wokuba nomhlaza , kodwa ngenxa yesizathu esithile, umdlavuza wemiphunga udlalwa. Amazwi okuqala avela emlonyeni wethu ekufundeni umhlobo unomdlavuza wesifuba awuqhelekanga ukuba "wancame kangakanani na umntwana wakho ngamnye? " Asizibuze abantu abanomdlavuza wekolon ukuba bahlala ixesha elingakanani. Kuzo zonke izibhengezo ezidweliswe kweli nqaku, ukuba kukho enye eyokuphepha, thintela ukubuza malunga nokutshaya.
Khumbula ukuba ama-20 ekhulwini kwabasetyhini abahlakulela umdlavuza wamaphaphu abazange baphephe i-cigarette. Kodwa nangona umntu enomngcipheko-uphephe ubomi bakhe bonke, usenelungelo lokumthanda nokunyamekela, inkxaso yethu, kunye nokunakekelwa kwezempilo olufanelekileyo. Njengombali wokugqibela, sivile abantu bethetha ukuba lo mbuzo ubalulekile; Ukuba ukubuza abantu ngomdlavuza wamaphaphu ngokubhema kwabo kunceda ukufundisa abanye ngeengozi zokutshaya. Siza kuphendula apha ukuba kukho ezininzi izixhobo zokufunda malunga neengozi zokutshaya, ngaphandle kokwenza njalo ngenxa yokulimaza umhlobo wakho.
Kunoko uthi: " Ndiyaxolisa ukuba kufuneka ubhekane nesi sifo. "
2. Ungathi: " Ndibizele ukuba ufuna into "
Oku kubonakala ngathi iphutha lokuthayipha. Emva koko, kutheni ungazibuza umhlobo wakho ngomhlaza ukuba abize ukuba ufuna into ethile? Isizathu sokuba oku akusiyo impazamo yokubhala kukuba ininzi yexesha, ebiza ngokuba nje akuyi kwenzeka. Xa sicela umntu ukuba abize, sibeka umthwalo wokubiza lowo mntu, kwaye ukuhlala nomhlaza kudla ngokwaneleyo.
Xa sibhala oku, asitsho ukuba akufanele unikele ngoncedo. Nceda uyenze! Kodwa xa unako, cela into ongayenza ngayo ngendlela ethile, ekhupha umhlobo wakho umthwalo wokufuna ukucinga. Xa ndihamba nge-chemotherapy yomhlaza wesifuba, abantu babehlala bebuza indlela abanokundinceda ngayo, kodwa kwakunzima ukucinga malunga naluphi uhlobo loncedo olufunekayo. Nangona izigqibo ezinjengokuthi "ungathanda ukuba ndilethe i-lasagna okanye i-pizza" ngamanye amaxesha kwakunzima, njengoko ndandiphazamiseka kuzo zonke izigqibo endikufuneka ndenze malunga nophatho. Yintoni eyasinceda kakhulu uncedo olukhethekileyo loncedo. Omnye umhlobo othandekayo wabuza ukuba afike ngaphaya kweMigqibelo kunye neentyantyambo zeentyantyambo (into efuna kuphela ingqondo yengqondo yeewe okanye akukho mpendulo.) Wayebonisa, kunye nabanye abahlobo kunye neenxalenye zeentyatyambo, waza waqhubeka gcwalisa yonke imibhede yam intyatyambo.
Ngamanye amaxesha ukwenza nje into ngaphandle kokubuza kungaba sisipho esikhulu kunazo zonke. Ndinezihlobo ezingazange zibuze oko ndandifuna kodwa ziza kubonakalisa iitreyiti zokutya ezinqabileyo kunye nezinto ezisuka kwivenkile (kwaye ziza kubakho ngqo kwifriji kunye nefriji kwaye zikhulule.). Omnye umhlobo wanikela ngenqwaba yeencwadi esithi iincwadi ezilungileyo kakhulu awayezifundileyo ngaloo nyaka (kwaye zacaca ukuba andingenyanzelekile ukuba ndibafunde nokuba).
Endaweni yoko, uthi: " Ngaba ndingaya ngoLwesithathu olulandelayo ndize ndihlambe iiwindi? " Okanye " Ngaba ndinokukuqhubela kunyango lwakho olulandelayo? " Okanye " Ngamana ndingenisa isidlo sakusibili ngoLibini olulandelayo? " Okanye nje ukubonisa ukutya.
3. Ungathi: " Umyeni wam Umntakwabo wase-Cousin wase-2 waba ngumyeni we-Cancer kwaye Yena _______ "
Kwenzeka lonke ixesha. Xa siva malunga nokuxilongwa komhlobo, sinikela ngamabali malunga nabanye esibaziyo ngesimo esifanayo. Kodwa endaweni yezi mpendulo zenza oko bazimisele ukukwenza-ukudala uxhumano - bahlala besenza okuchaseneyo; sishiye umhlobo wethu evakalelwa yedwa.
Ukwabelana ngamabali malunga nabantu abafa, okanye amabali amaxhala ngokuphathelele unyango, zizinto zokugcina umntu ophila nomdlavuza wemiphunga kufuneka ave. Kodwa naluphi na ukuthelekiswa kunokuphosa amanqaku abo kwaye kugqiba ukulimaza. Ngokomzekelo, xa ndifumanisekile, umhlobo wandixelela ukuba intombi yakhe "into efanayo," kwaye awuzange uphoswe ngumsebenzi womhla. Ndiqinisekile ukuba injongo yakhe kukunciphisa ukwesaba kwam malunga nonyango, kodwa kunoko, kwandenza ndive ngathi ndiza kugwetywa ukuba ndifuna ukuthatha ixesha - njengokuba ngandlela-thile "ndihlulekile." Ngokwahlukileyo, omnye umhlobo wabonisa ukuba kwakumnandi ukuba udade wakhe wayengenakukwazi ukuyeka umsebenzi wakhe emva kokuvavanywa, kodwa ukuba umyeni wakhe waqala ukwenza konke ukupheka nokuhlamba iimpahla. Akuncedi.
Kwizihlandlo ezingaqhelekanga, ukwabelana ibali kunokunceda. Ndinomhlobo onomdlavuza onqabileyo onobuhlwempu. Wathuthuzelwa xa eva malunga nomnye umhlobo wam owayephila kwaye ekhula iminyaka eyi-15 emva kokuxilongwa okufanayo. Kodwa cinga ngokucophelela ngaphambi kokuba wabelane ngamabali. Ugxininiso kufuneka ube kumhlobo wakho, kungekhona kwabanye abantu ebomini bakho abaye bajamelana nomhlaza.
Kunoko uthi: " Ubamba njani na? " Kwaye mamela.
4. Ungathi: " Ndiyazi ukuba uzizwa njani "
" Ngokwenene? Uyazi ukuba kunjani ukuba nomzimba wam, kunye nomhlobo othile wesifo somhlaza, kunye neempawu zam, ukuhlala nabantwana bam, ekhaya, kunye nokukhathazeka kwam kwezimali? " Ndiyaqonda ukuba abaninzi abantu abathi "Ndiyazi indlela ozivakalelwa ngayo "uzama nzima ukuxhasa kwaye wenze ukuba umhlobo wabo azive engasecala, kodwa ngokwenene, oku kunokushiya umhlobo wakho evakalelwa kukuba unesizungu kwaye ahluke.
Ngaphandle kokuba uhlala nomdlavuza wamaphaphu - kwaye nangona ukhona - awukwazi ukuqonda ukuba kuthini ukuba ube ngumhlobo wakho. Uhambo lomntu wonke luhlukile. Kungaba nzima ukuthetha into enje ukuba unomdlavuza. Ngandlela-thile, ukufumana umdlavuza kunokungenisa emphakathini oyimfihlo yabasindileyo, kodwa ukuthelekiswa phakathi kwabaxhasi bamagciwane kungabangela ubuhlungu ngakumbi. Umzekelo, umntu ohlala nomgca wesi-4 umhlaza wamaphaphu akafuni ukuva umntu onesigca 2 somhlaza wesifuba esithi "Ndiyayiqonda indlela ozivakalelwa ngayo." Ngenxa yokuba abanako.
Kunoko, uthi: " Uziva njani? " Kwaye ulungele ukuphulaphula.
5. Ungathi : " Kufuneka ube nesimo sengqondo esihle "
Ukugcina isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo ngomhlaza akuyona into embi; Izifundo zibonisa ukuba ukuba nesimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo kunokunceda amajoni omzimba kunye nokunciphisa ama-hormone oxinzelelo emzimbeni wethu. Kodwa nje ngokuba kukho ixesha lokuba nethuba, kukho amaxesha apho kufuneka ube nokukhala okuhle.
Ukuxelela abantu abajongene nomhlaza abafuna ukuba bahlale bebenzayo banqwenela iimvakalelo zabo. Oku, kunokubangela ukuba bavale baze babambe iimvakalelo zabo ngaphakathi. Ukuxelela umntu onomhlaza ukuba " banamandla " unokuba nomphumo ofanayo. Ukuba ufuna ukuxhasa umhlobo wakho ngomhlaza, makhe abe kwindawo apho angaba buthathaka kwaye abonise ukwesaba kwakhe.
Endaweni yoko uthi: " Ndiqinisekile ukuba uziva ngezinye izihlandlo. Ukuba ufuna ihlombe ukukhala, ndiza kuba kuwe. "
6. Musa ukuthi: " Ufuna ukuba ___ " (Thatha iCandelo lakho)
- Yidla ukutya okubanzi
- Fumana umbono wesibini ngomhlaza wemiphunga.
- Hamba yonke i-organic.
- Qalisa i juicing.
- Zama ikhefu lemihla yamanzi.
- Yiya eMexico ufumane i- laetrile .
- Bona umama we-oncologist.
Ezinye iziphakamiso abantu abazenzayo zingaba zilungileyo. Abanye bangathathi hlangothi, kwaye abanye banokuba yingozi. Ndibe nomhlobo omnye "undicebise" ukuba ndifanele ndiqhekeze ukuhlinzwa kunye ne-chemotherapy kwaye endaweni yoko niphuze ijusi ye-carrot zonke iiyure ezimbini. Ewe, ndakhetha ukungahoywa iinconywa zakhe, kodwa umgca wukuthi ukunika iingcebiso mhlawumbi akunjalo indlela umhlobo wakho onomhlaza ofuna ukuba umxhase ngayo .
Ukuba uzimisele ukusho into eqala ngo " kufuneka u___ " ucinge kwakhona. Umhlobo wakho usenokuba wenza uphando oluninzi kwaye sele ephazamisekile ngeendlela ezikhoyo. Ngokufanayo, ukwabelana "ngeengcamango zobuqhetseba," okanye ukunika izimvo malunga ne-chemotherapy njengento yokucebisa oogqirha ukuba benze imali ngeendleko zesigulane somhlaza, akwenzi nto eninzi ukuxhasa umntu osandul 'ufumane unomdlavuza.
Kunoko uthi: " Kuvakala ngathi ukhethe iqela elifanelekileyo lezonyango. Ukuba ufuna, ndiya kukunceda ukuphanda uphendlo lwakho. "
7. Ungathi: " Yonke into iya kuba yinyani "
Kwenene? Unokuqiniseka njani na?
Ukuxelela umhlobo wakho ukuba uya kuqiniseka ukuba uya kulungile kungekhona nje into engeyinyaniso kodwa kunciphisa ukwesaba komhlobo wakho malunga neyeza kunye nekamva.
Kunoko, uthi: " Ndiya kuba khona kuwe. " Yilungele ukuphulaphula ukwesaba kwakhe.
8. Ungathi: " UThixo unokusebenzisa oku "
Okanye utshintsho, " Yonke into eyenzekayo ngesizathu ." Xa umntu wokuqala uthetha kum, ukuphendula kwam ukutshutshisa (oko ndazigcina kum) kwakukho, " Ulungele.
Ndiya kuba nokholo olomeleleyo, kodwa andikholwa ukuba uThixo uceba abanye bethu ukuba banomdlavuza ukuze sikwazi ukunceda abanye. Ngokufanayo, andinakholelwa ukuba uThixo unika abantu umdlavuza ngenxa yokuba kukho isono ebomini babo, okanye ukuba "unokholo olwaneleyo," uya kukuphilisa ngokumangalisayo. Abaninzi bethu bayazi ngomntu owayenokholo olunzulu kunye neenkolelo, kodwa wanyelwa ngumhlaza nanini. Ngokufanayo, ngamanye amaxesha imimangaliso yenzeke kwabo bangenalo ukholo nonke.
Endaweni yoko, uthi: "Ngaba ndingathandazela?" Yaye ukuba umhlobo wakho uthi ewe, qiniseka ukuba wenza.
9. Ungatsho ukuthi "Awunifuni Ngaba Unomdlavuza Webele Ngayo yonke i-Pink Stuff Esikhundleni se-Cancer? "
Ewe, eli lizwi lokwenyaniso xa lithethwe nomntu onomdlavuza wamaphaphu. Kukho ukungalingani kwimali yenkxaso (kunye nenkxaso-mali) yomdlavuza wemiphunga ohambelana nomdlavuza webele, kodwa akunjalo ngokwaneleyo (kunye nobuhlungu ngokwaneleyo) ngaphandle kokuphawula ngawo?
Omnye "ungatsho" kwafika njengengxelo kwiblothi ndiyibhala: "Abasindileyo be-Cancer bafuna ukuma bahluke njengabantwana abasinda kwiCatter Brever." Ewe, abasindisi bemfuba besifuba baye benza umsebenzi omhle wokwandisa ulwazi. Kodwa ukuhamba okanye ukugijimela ukuqwashisa umdlavuza wamaphaphu kufuneka ube nemiphunga, kwaye kufuneka uphile. Isilinganiso seminyaka emihlanu yokusinda komhlaza wesifuba sinama-90 ekhulwini. Umdlavuza wamaphaphu ungaphantsi kweepesenti ezili-17.
Endaweni yoko, uthi: " Ndikulungele kwaye ndizimisele ukujoyina ukuze ndincede imbangela njengommeli womdlavuza wamaphaphu."
10. Ungathi: Akukho nto
Ukuthula kungabi yinto enzima kunomntu onomdlavuza. Enye yezona nkxalabo zabantu abanomdlavuza zodwa - zijongene nonyango zodwa, zijongene neentlungu zodwa, zifa zodwa, okanye zijongene nokuphila kuphela. Ndiyaqonda ukuba ndabelana ngezinto ezininzi ukuba ndingathethi kumntu onomdlavuza wamaphaphu, kodwa xa wehla kuwo, kungcono ukuthetha into kunokuthetha nto nhlobo. Abantu abanomdla ngokuqhelekileyo baxolela ngamaxesha angaphantsi-kunengqiqo. Kuyinkcenkceshe kakhulu ukuba ivalelwe yinkwenkwezi.
Endaweni yoko, yithi: " Andiyazi ukuba uthetha ntoni. "
Iingcamango zokugqibela kunye neZingcebiso eziPhezulu
Ekubeni ukuthula mhlawumbi into eyona nto ungayithetha "kumntu onomdlavuza wamaphaphu, andifuni abantu beshiya eli nqaku ngokuthi baphendule ngento engafanelekanga. Abantu abaphila nomhlaza bayaqonda ukuba abahlobo babo banokufumana kunzima ukwazi ukuba bathetha ntoni. Esikhundleni sokukhumbula izibhengezo ezithile ukuba ungathethi, zimbalwa ziqhelekileyo zinokukunceda.
- Thetha ngaphantsi kwaye uphulaphule ngakumbi.
- Buza imibuzo evulekile, kwaye uvumele umhlobo wakho athethe incoko.
- Esikhundleni sokuziva uncedo lokulungisa izinto okanye ukwenza into ethile , oko umhlobo wakho adinga kakhulu kunokuba ube khona .
- Gwema ukunika iingcebiso.
- Gwema ukugxeka.
- Gwema ukugqithisa-kokubambisa kunye nokuphazamisa ubunzima bomdlavuza kunokulimaza umntu onomdlavuza.
Yaye khumbula: izinto ezimbi zenzeke kubantu abalungileyo. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, ezo zinto ezimbi ziyakunyamezela xa unabo bahlobo abazama ukwenza izinto ezingabangela ukulimaza, kwaye zithathele ezo mpendulo ngamazwi ancedisayo.
> Imithombo:
> INational Cancer Institute. Imvakalelo kunye neCanscer. Ukuhlaziywa nge- 11/06/17. https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping/feelings