Iingcebiso zokuxhatshazwa njengokuba wakho othandekayo uyadla
Ukujamelana nosizi olulindelekileyo luhluke kunokuba ubhekane nentlungu emva kokuba umntu efile (usizi oluqhelekileyo.) Unokuba neengxaki ezixutywayo njengoko uzifumana kuloo ndawo enesicatshulwa yokugcina ithemba, ngelixa uqala ukuyeka. Akunjalo nje kuphela loo mvakalelo ebuhlungu kakhulu, kodwa abantu bahlala bengenakufumana inkxaso ngenkxaso yabo ngeli xesha.
Ngamanye amaxesha ukulila phambi kokufa kusenokungaqondakali ngokushiyeka, kumntu ongeke "abe khona."
Makhe sihlolisise oko kuthetha ukuthatha inzondelelo ebangelwayo kwaye wabelane ngamacandelo ancedo ekujonganeni xa usila ukulahlekelwa ngumntu osele apha.
Yiyiphi Injongo Yokubandezeleka?
Intsingiselo yeso sihlandlo esiyilindelekileyo yintlungu edlalwa yimihla yokugqibela yobomi. Ngokuqhelekileyo kubonwa ngabafundi abathandekayo bomntu osondela ekufeni, kunye nomntu ofa ngokwenene. Nangona intlungu ngaphambi kokufa ivule amathuba okuthetha ukuba ukufa ngokukhawuleza akunjalo, ukulila kwangaphambili akuyi kuthatha indawo-okanye iyancishisa-ixesha lokudabuka emva kokufa.
Eli nqaku libhalelwe abo banomntu othandekayo osondela ekufeni kwaye bafumana intlungu, kodwa abo bafa bahlala beva le ntlungu. Siyathemba ukuba iziphakamiso zokujongana ngezansi ziya kunceda abo babulawa kunye nabathandekayo babo.
Iingcebiso zokujongana nosizi olulindelekileyo
Iingqungquthela ezithetha "iimfazwe ezinesibindi" zinokuba zihle, kodwa zenza nzima kubo abanomdla othandekayo (okanye umntu ofa ngokwenene) ukubonisa ngokupheleleyo intlungu abaye bafumana ngaphambi kokufa. Akuyena wonke umntu ofumana intlungu enomdla, kodwa iyaqhelekileyo.
Olunye uphando lufumanise ukuba ama-40 ekhulwini abafelokazi afumene intlungu ngaphambi kokufa ngakumbi uxinzelelo kunokudabuka emva kokufa.
Ukuba ufumana intlungu ngenkathi umhlobo wakho esaphila akuthethi ukuba ushiya umhlobo wakho okanye ulahla. Kunoko, ukusebenza ngentlungu yakho kunokukunika ithuba lokufumana intsingiselo nokuvalwa ongazange ube nako.
Hlola ezi ngcebiso ezilandelayo zokujongana nentlungu ebangela ukuba abanye bayifumane uncedo ngelixa behamba nale miqobo enzima.
Vumela Ukuba Uziva Uvele
Ukuvumela ukuba uzive intlungu entliziyweni yakho kukunceda ukuba uthembeke kwaye uyinyani. Intlungu ekulindelekileyo ayiyikulila nje ukufa okuzayo komntu othandekayo, kodwa zonke ezinye ilahleko ezihamba kunye nokufa. Ukulahlekelwa ngumhlobo. Ukulahleka kweememori ezabelwana ngazo. Ukulahleka kwamaphupha ngekamva. Kwakhona lixesha apho intlungu evela kwixesha elidlulileyo inokuvuswa ukuba "ibuhlungu kwakhona." Ukulibala intlungu ozivelayo kunokunyamezela intlungu emva koko ohambweni lwakho.
Intlungu iyenzela injongo nokuba ingaba ngaphambi kokufa okanye emva kokufa. Abaphandi baye basinceda ngokubonisa izigaba ezine kunye nemisebenzi yentlungu . Le mi sebenzi iqala ngokuvuma ukulahleka okukufutshane, ukusebenza ngentlungu, kwaye ekugqibeleni uyeke ngendlela evumela ukuba uthuthelele uxhumo lwakho lomntu kwindawo ehlukile.
Oku akuthethi ukuyeka umhlobo wakho okanye ukulibala. Kunoko, ukugqiba imisebenzi yosizi kukuvumela ukuba uxhomeke ekuvuyiseni nasekuthandeni owake wabelana naye, kodwa ngaphandle kokudabuka okukhulu okwenza ukuba ukhumbule kakhulu.
Abantu abaninzi bakuthola kunzima ukuvakalisa intlungu ngaphambi kokuba bafe ngenxa yokuba bayakubona bengamxhasi wabo othandekayo. Ukufumana umhlobo othembekileyo unokuyinyathelo elimangalisayo lokuqala ekujonganeni nale ntlungu.
Musa Ukuya Kuphela: Bonisa Ubunzima Bakho
Kubalulekile ukuba ungavumeli nje ukuba uzive ubuhlungu bakho kodwa ukwabelana ngemvakalelo yakho kunye nomhlobo osondeleyo okanye ilungu lentsapho kunye.
Akukho mntu kufuneka aqalane nosizi olulindelekileyo yodwa. Ukugcina iimvakalelo zakho ngokwakho kunokubangela ukuba uzive ukhululekile kwaye uhlala wedwa.
Ukuba kunokwenzeka, fumana umngane onokuphuza ukugweba kwaye ngubani oya kukhululeka njengoko uvakalisa umsindo. Uphononongo lubonisa ukuba intlungu ekulindelekileyo iyafana nentlungu emva kokuba umntu efile, kodwa kukho ukuvutha komsindo nokulahleka kolawulo phezu kwemizwa.
Zama ukufumana umhlobo okwazi ukuphulaphula, kwaye akazami "ukulungisa izinto." Umhlobo onokuphulaphula akayi kukuxelela into omele uyenze okanye indlela onokuvakalelwa ngayo. Ukuba asinalo mntu esimthandayo obhekene nokufa, asikho indlela yokuqonda indlela umntu ozivakalelwa ngayo. Ngaphandle kokuba sibe khona thina, kwaye akukho bantu ababini abanokuhamba okufanayo, okunokwenzeka ukuba baxhamle ukuba bacebise malunga noko kufuneka uyenze okanye ukuba ufanele uzive njani. Abanye abantu basabela kwili cebiso ngomsindo, ngelixa abanye bevale. Ngayiphi na indlela, ayikukuncedi kakuhle.
Ukuba umhlobo wakho uzama ukwabelana ngeengcebiso, mazise ukuba ufuna kuphela ukuphulaphula kwaye ungazami ukulungisa izinto. Imvakalelo oyiva ngayo ayinakho ukulungisa lula. Sekunjalo ukufumana umntu ophulaphulayo kukunika indlela yokuhamba endleleni uvakalelwa yedwa.
Ukuba awukwazi ukufumana umhlobo oxhasayo, okanye nokuba unako, amaqela enkxaso ye-intanethi, njengalezo ezinikezwa yiCarcerCare ziyafumaneka ezibonelela ngenkxaso yabanonophelo babantu abaphila nezifo zokuphela.
Sebenzisa ixesha kunye
Sivame ukuva abantu bethetha malunga nokuba kunzima kangakanani ukuchitha ixesha kunye nomthande wabo ofa. Abafuni ukukhumbula umhlobo wabo ngendlela abaye ngayo ngoku kodwa kunokuba bafune ukukhumbula indlela ababephila ngayo ngaphambi kokuba bafe. Okokuthi, ukuchitha ixesha kubalulekile kungekuphela komntu ofa kodwa kubahlobo abathandayo. Ukuphepha ukutyelela umntu omthandayo kufuthi ngezinye izikhathi kunokubangela ukuzisola kamva.
Cinga ngeendlela ezichanekileyo zokuchitha ixesha kunye. Omnye umsebenzi abanye bawufumene inenjongo ukukhupha iibhokisi kunye ne-albhamu yezithombe zekadala. Ukuhleka kunye neinyembezi zokuzikhumbuza kunokuhlambulula kakhulu. Ngomfazi, unokumcela ukuba akhuphe iingubo zakhe aze athethe ngamabali emva kwesinye isiqwenga. Ukuba unabantwana abancinci, okanye nokuba ungekho, unokuba unqwenela ukwenza iividiyo ezirekhodiweyo njengoko umthandayo ekwabelana ngamabali malunga nokuba kwakunjani ukukhula ngaphambi kwe-imeyili.
Olunye umsebenzi abanye abantu baye bafumanisa okhethekileyo kukufumana ibhafini engabonakaliyo yokubhabha kunye nokucoca, uze uhlaziye izithandwa zakho izandla kunye neenyawo. Unokufisa nokufumana ezinye zeenveli zamanqaku azithandayo zokumfundela. Ukuba uthanda umntu othanda ukuloba, mcele ukuba abelane ngamabali akhe "ayizintanzi ezinkulu". Uluhlu luyaqhubeka kwaye luqhubeke.
Wonke umntu uhlukile uma kuziwa kwizinto ezinokubaluleka kwaye akuzona izinto ozikhethayo ezibalulekileyo. Kuchitha ixesha, nangona elo xesha lithe cwaka.
Ukuba ukhathazekile ngokuhambela umhlobo wakho, thatha isikhashana ufunde ngokuthetha nomntu othandekayo. Ekugqibeleni, abaninzi abantu bayesaba ukuba baya kuphuka baze bavelele ubunzima babo obathandayo. Gcina engqondweni ukuba ininzi yexesha lakho umthandayo unokukhetha ukutyelela, nokuba ulahlekelwa ngokupheleleyo. Iindlebe zilungile. Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba uxhalabile, ngakumbi ukuba umthandayo unqwenela ukuthetha ngokufa kwakhe, Thatha isikhashana ukuba ucinge malunga noyiko lwakho lokujongana nesithandwa sakho esifileyo.
Khumbula a bantwana
Abantwana nabo banenkxalabo yokulindela, kwaye ngelixa kubalulekile ukuba abantwana basebenze ngokudabuka, baninzi banikwa ithuba lokuzivakalisa, nakwiindawo ezininzi zokufakela izibhedlele . Ucwaningo luye lwabonisa ukuba abantwana abanganikiweyo ithuba lokulila, banokukwazi ukulwa noxinzelelo kunye nokuxinezeleka kamva ebomini. Ezinye zeengcebiso ezingezantsi, njengezobugcisa bonyango, zinokuba luncedo ngakumbi kubantwana.
Abantwana kufuneka bafakwe kwaye bafune indawo ekhuselekileyo yokuziveza ngokwabo. Ukuba ungumzali ofa, ukhetho lomntu ngaphandle komzali unokuba luncedo njengoko abantwana bezama ukuqinisa umzali okanye umkhulu wabo oza kufa. Kwisifundo esithile kwaqatshelwa ukuba abazali abanomhlaza ophezulu abazange bazi ukuba babecinezele kangakanani abantwana babo. Kwinqanaba elincomekayo, nangona kunjalo, uphando olufanayo lufumanisa ukuba abantwana abanomzali onomdlavuza ophezulu oxabisekileyo kunye nezinto ezibalulekileyo ebomini kunabantwana abangenawo umzali onomdlavuza.
Ukuvulwa kokunxibelelana nokufa okuye kwaboniswa ukunceda ukunciphisa uxhalaba, ukuxinezeleka, kunye neengxaki zokuziphatha kubantwana abanomzali ogula kakhulu. Abantwana badinga ukuqinisekiswa ukuba baya kuthathwa emva kokufa kunye nokuba abayi kushiywa. Funda kabanzi malunga neemfuno zabantwana abalilayo kunye nendlela yokuthetha nabantwana malunga nokufa.
Kukho neencwadi ezininzi ezintle ezilungiselelwe ukunceda abantwana bajamelane nokufa nokufa.
Cinga ngo kuhamba
Abantu abaninzi bafumanisa ukuba ukugcina iphephandaba liphilisa kakhulu. Ukugcina iphephancwadi kungenza i-cathartic kwelinye icala, njengoko ubonisa izinto ongeke uzive ukhululekile ukuxelela nomhlobo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ingaba yindawo yokurekhoda iingcamango ezizodwa malunga nexesha lomntu oyithandayo-iingcamango ongasifisa ukuba ufuna ukuzenza. Abanye abantu bakhetha iphepha lokubhala elizimeleyo. Abanye banokukhetha ukwabelana ngeengcamango zabo kwisayithi ezifana neCaring Bridge, apho bangabelana khona ingcinga kunye neemvakalelo zabo kuphela kodwa izibuyekezo kunye nezicelo zoncedo kubathandekayo.
Esikhundleni salo, okanye ngaphezu koko, ukupapashwa, abanye abantu bafumene ukuba iileta zokubhala zikunceda ngokudabuka kokufa okuzayo. Umzekelo, ungabhala ileta kumthande wakho othandekayo esithi yonke into ofuna ukuyifumana ukuqinisekisa ukuba uya kuthetha. Ukuba ufa, ukubhala iincwadi kubantwana bakho-mhlawumbi iileta abanokuzivula ngosuku oluthile-kunika indawo yokubonisa loo mvakalelo yethando kwaye ngexesha elifanayo kunika abo basala emva kwesipho esikhulu.
Thatha inzuzo yeendlela zokukhohlisa
Ukwenza indlela epheleleyo kunokunceda kokubili isiguli esifa kunye nabathandekayo bakhe. Kuye kwafunyanwa ezininzi zala machiza ukuncedisa iimvakalelo ezifana nokuxhalaba, kunye nezifundo ezimbalwa ziye zafumanisa ukuba ukufumana indlela epheleleyo yokunyamekela abo abadabukileyo kuye kwanceda ukuzisa ithemba nokuphulukisa kumava obuhlungu. Ezinye zeendlela ziquka:
- Iimpawu ezikhokelwayo - Iifoto ezikhokelwayo zivakalelwa ukuba zinceda kokubili isigulane esifayo kunye nabathandekayo balabo ababulawa ngumhlaza abanomdla wokulangazelela
- Ukucamngca
- Utyando lwezobugcisa
- Ukunyanga kwamayeza
- Qigong
- Ulwaphulo lomculo
Ukukhulisa Umoya Wakho
Umoya kubalulekile kubo bobabili abasweleyo kunye nabaxhasi babo. Umoya unokuthatha uhlobo lwenkolo ehleliweyo kunye nomthandazo, ukucamngca, ukuthetha kunye nendalo, okanye ukuphulaphula umculo onentsingiselo kuwe. Izifundo zibonise ukuba abantu abafa banomgangatho obhetele wobomi kwiintsuku zokugqibela ukuba banomsebenzi wokomoya osebenzayo, kwaye ubomi bo komoya buneenzuzo ngaphezu komntu ofa. Uphononongo olutshanje lufumanise ukuba abantu abanomdla wabantu abanomdlavuza ophezulu babengenakukwazi ukuva nokudakumba ukuba umhlobo wabo othandekayo wayephila ubomi obungokomoya.
Gcina Uluvo Lwezinto
Akukho ndawo yokulala xa umntu efa, kwaye kukho ngokucacileyo ixesha lokudabuka. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha uhlekisayo, kwindawo efanelekileyo, unokuphilisa. Ndikhumbula ndiziva ndikhululiwe ngokukhululeka kumntakwabo-mkhwenkwe xa u-ntate-step-father wasweleka. Umama wayekhohliwe amasokisi akhe xa wazisa yonke ingubo yakhe yokungcwaba kwiindawo zokungcwaba waza wadiliza. Umnakwawa wam ngomusa wanikela iisokisi ezinyaweni zakhe - ii-socks ezimnandi ze-REI. Indoda-nyathelo yam, indoda endiyithandayo eyayisitye i-T-shirt yayo mhlawumbi yayingayikhethanga loo masokisi, kwaye le ngcamango yayihlambulula njengoko yayiphendule iinyembezi zikamama zentlungu kwiinyembezi zokuhleka. Umntakwabowethu, ngokubetha ama-funny-amathambo waza waqala ukucula "iisokisi zam ziya ezulwini." Ukuyeka esitolo kwivenkile Ndiyaqiniseka ukuba umabhalana wacinga ukuba sele sichitha iiyure kwi-bar kwaye singekho ikhaya lokungcwaba.
Amanye amaziko omhlaza sele anikezela unyango lokuhleka abantu abanomdlavuza ophezulu. Ewe, kukho amaxesha amaninzi xa ukuhleka nje kungeke kwenzeke. Kodwa ngezinye izihlandlo, nokuba ufuna "ukuyinyanzela uze uyenze" - ukuhleka kunokunciphisa imvakalelo enzima.
- Ulawulo lwexinzelelo kunye neNzuzo yezeMpilo yokuhleka
Ukuzixolela
Ukuxolela kuyaphilisa, kwaye ukufunda ukuxolela kubaluleke kakhulu njengokuxolela abanye. Ixesha ngaphambi kokuba ukufa kuzaliswe ngumsindo kunye nentukuthelo kunye nentukuthelo phakathi kwamalungu entsapho angakwazi ukubusa ngamandla. Kodwa le lixesha lokulungisa ingxaki. Isinyathelo sokuqala esihle sokuxolela ukuphulaphula. Ngokuqhelekileyo abantu bathetha into efanayo - ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Kanti ngamanye amaxesha kukho ukungafani okucacileyo. Umbuzo onokuzibuza ukuba ucatshulwa nelinye ilungu lentsapho, "kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba uyithande okanye ulungile?" Omnye uthe wachaza ukuba inzondo uyilungiselela enye kwaye uyisele. Ukuyeka ukucaphuka kunye nokubuhlungu ukususela ekudlulileyo. Zinike isipho sokuxolelwa.
Nika Umntu Othandekayo Uvumelekile Ukufa
Akuqhelekanga ukuba umntu ahlale ecaleni ixesha elithile-ngokomzekelo, elinde ade afake umhla ofana nokugqitywa komntwana, usuku lokuzalwa, okanye ukutyelelwa kumntu othandekayo. Kubantu abathile, kubonakala ngathi ekugqibeleni bavumelekile ukuba bathathe ukuphefumula kwabo kokugqibela emva kokuba othandekayo uthetha ngandlela-thile, kwaye ngokwenza njalo, imvume yemali. Imvume yokufa ingahamba zombini iindlela. Ngobusuku u-ugogo wasweleka wathi kum, "siya kulahleka." Amagama akhe aninika imvume yokumvumela ukuba ahambe, kwaye ke, impendulo yam ebonisa ukuba ndiya kumnika imvume yokudlulisela kwindawo elandelayo. Isipho senzuzo singaba sisipho esihle.
Imithombo:
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Lin, H., no-S. Bauer-Wu. I-Psycho-spirituality-wellness in izigulane ezinomhlaza ophezulu: ukuhlaziywa kokuhlanganiswa kweencwadi. Umbhalo we-Nursing Advanced . 2003. 44 (1): 69-80.
Sutter, C., noT. Reid. Sithetha njani kubantwana? Ukubonisana ngobomi bentwana ukuxhasa abantwana abanezigulane ezigulayo. Umbhalo weMithi yoPilliative . 2012. 15 (12): 1362-8.
UWess, M. Ukuzisa ithemba kunye nokuphilisa kwizigulane ezibuhlungu ngomhlaza. Umbhalo we-American Osteopathic Association . 2007. 107 (ISibonelelo se-12): ES41-7.