Ukuqonda Intlungu ngaphambi kokulahleka nokufa
Intlungu ekulindelekileyo yinto eqhelekileyo yokusabela kubantu abajongene nokufa komntu othandekayo. Nangona kunjalo, ngelixa abantu abaninzi beqhelana nentlungu eyenzeka emva kokufa (intlungu eqhelekileyo), olu hlobo lusizi olwenzeka ngaphambi kokufa aluqhelekanga. Ngenxa yoko, abanye abantu bakufumanisa ukuba uluntu aluvumelekanga ukubonisa intlungu enzulu kunye nentlungu abaye bahlangabezana nayo kwaye bafumana inkxaso abayidingayo.
Yiyiphi intlungu ekulindelekileyo, yiziphi iimpawu onokuzilindela, kwaye unokuhlangabezana njani nale nto nzima?
Njengengxelo ekhawulezayo, eli nqaku libhekiswe ngakumbi kumntu osilela ukulahlekelwa ngumntu othandekayo, kodwa usizi lokulungiselela luye lwafunyanwa ngumntu ofa. Ngethemba, eli nqaku malunga nokujamelana nentlungu ekulindelekileyo, kuya kuba luncedo kubo bobabili abasweleyo kunye nalabo ababuhlungu ukufa komntu osondeleyo.
Yiyiphi Injongo Yokubandezeleka?
Intlungu ekulindelekileyo ichazwa njengentlungu eyenzeka ngaphambi kokufa (okanye enye ilahleko enkulu) ngokungafani nentlungu emva kokufa (intlungu eqhelekileyo). Esikhundleni sokufa yedwa, olu hlobo lusizi lubandakanya ukulahlekelwa kwezinto ezininzi, ezifana nokulahlekelwa ngumhlobo, ukutshintsha iindima kwintsapho, ukwesaba ukutshintsha kwezemali kunye nokulahlekelwa kwamaphupha. Intlungu ayisenzekanga, kwaye amaxesha amaninzi amava akwazi ukukhumbuza ezinye iimbali zentlungu ngexesha elidlulileyo.
Intlungu ekulindelekileyo ingafana nentlungu emva kokufa kodwa ikwahluke ngeendlela ezininzi. Usizi ngaphambi kokufa luhlala luquka umsindo omkhulu, ukulahlekelwa ngakumbi kolawulo lwengqondo, kunye nokuphendula okubuhlungu. Oku kunxulumene nendawo elukhuni-"abantu abaphakathi" bayifumana xa umntu othandekayo efa.
Elinye ibhinqa lathi wayeziva exubene ngaphakathi ngaphakathi kuba wayeziva ehlala ehluleka ukuzama ukufumanisa ukulinganisela kwethenda phakathi kokubamba ithemba kwaye uvumelekile ukuba ahambe.
Akuyena wonke umntu ofumana intlungu, kwaye akulungile okanye kubi ukwenza njalo. Abanye abantu bafumana intlungu encinci ngelixa umntu obathandayo efa, kwaye ngokwenene, bafumene ukuba bangazivumeli ukuba baxakeke ngenxa yokuba kunokuthiwa ukunikela ithemba. Nangona kunjalo, kwabanye abantu, intlungu ngaphambi kokuba ilahleko libi kakhulu. Ukufundwa kwabasetyhini baseSweden ababelahlekelwe ngumyeni bafumanisa ukuba ama-40 ekhulwini kwabesifazane bafumanisa ukuba isigaba sokulahlekelwa kwangaphambili sixinzelelekile kunesithuba sokulahlekelwa emva kokulahleka.
Ngaba Unceda Usizi Kamva?
Intlungu ngaphambi kokufa ayifaki indawo yentlekele kamva, kwaye ayiyi kukhawulelana inkqubo yokulila emva kokufa. Ayikho inani elithile elixhomekeke ekubuhlungu umntu ahlangabezana nalo nokulahlekelwa ngumthandayo. Yaye nangona impilo yakho imthandayo iyancipha ixesha elide, akukho nto iyakulungiselela ukufa kwangoku.
Nangona kunjalo, ngelixa ulindeleke ukulila lusizi okanye lusekhanda lokuqala emva kokulila, ukudabuka ngaphambi kokufa kunika amathuba okuvalwa ukuba abantu abalahlekelwa ngumthandayo ngokungazelelwe bangabikho.
Injongo
Kulabo bafa, intlungu yokulangazelela inikeza ithuba lokukhula komntu ekupheleni kokuphila, indlela yokufumana intsingiselo nokuvalwa. Kwiintsapho, eli xesha lifumana ithuba lokufumana ukuvalwa, ukudibanisa ukungafani, nokunika nokuxolela. Kubini bobabini, kuyithuba lokuthetha. Ngobusuku ukhulu wam wafa mna ndilele embhedeni naye. Waphendukela kum kwaye wathi, "siya kulahleka omnye nomnye," kwaye wangqongqa. Kwakuyisipho sakhe sokudla.
Sifumana i-imeyile rhoqo sibuza indlela esivakalelwa ngayo ngelungu lentsapho elwendwendwe othandekayo. Izimvo esizivelayo kukuba, "Ndifuna ukukhumbula umhlobo wam njengendlela ababephila ngayo ngaphambi komhlaza," okanye "Andiyicingi ukuba ndingakwazi ukujamelana nentlungu yokutyelela." Kodwa intlungu ekulindeleke kule ndawo ingaphilisa.
Olunye uphando lwafumanisa ukuba intlungu ekulindelekileyo kwabasetyhini abayeni babo ababulawa ngumhlaza wabanceda bafumane intsingiselo kwimeko yabo ngaphambi kokufa komyeni wabo.
Nangona ulusizi lwentlungu aluyi kuyenza lula inkqubo yosizi, ngamanye amaxesha kunokukwenza ukufa kubonakale kuyimvelo. Kunzima ukuvumela abathandekayo bethu ukuba bahambe. Ukuzibona xa bebuthathaka kwaye beswele kwaye bakhathele kwenza mhlawumbi nje kulula ukuba uthi, "kulungile ukuba uqhubele kwindawo elandelayo."
Iimpawu
Iimvakalelo ezihambelanayo nentlungu zifana nezo zinto ezenzeka emva kokulahleka kodwa zinokuba zifana ne-coaster coaster ngamanye amaxesha. Ezininzi iintsuku zinokuba nzima kakhulu. Kwezinye iintsuku ungeke ube neentlungu kuzo zonke. Uluhlu luhlobo lweemvakalelo eziqhelekileyo ezinxulumene nentlungu ekulindelekileyo. Okokuthi, gcinani engqondweni ukuba wonke umntu usila ngokuhlukileyo.
- Usizi nosizi: Usizi kunye neinyembezi zikhula ngokukhawuleza kwaye rhoqo xa ungalindelekanga. Nangona izinto ezincinci, ezinjengeentengiso zethelevishini zingaba isikhumbuzo esiphuthumayo nesibuhlungu esikuthandayo umfelwayo; phantse ukuba kwakhona kwakhona okokuqala uyazi ngokulahlekelwa kwakho.
- Uloyiko: Imiva yokwesaba iyaqhelekanga kwaye ayibandakanyi nje ukwesaba ukufa kodwa ukwesaba malunga nazo zonke iinguqu eziya kudibana nokulahlekelwa ngumhlobo wakho.
- Ukutshatyalaliswa kunye nentukuthelo: Unokuba nobushushu, kodwa kunokuba nzima ukujamelana nomsindo omthandayo.
- Ukuxhalabisa: Unomdla wokulondeka ngokukhawuleza kudlalwa ngabantu abasondelene nabantwana abaswele ngumhlaza. Ngokungafani nentlungu emva kokulahlekelwa, ukuvakalelwa kukuba ayikho into eyamkelekileyo ekubonakaliseni intlungu engalindelekanga ingongeza kwiimvakalelo zokuzihlukanisa.
- Umnqweno wokuthetha: Ukuzixhalabisa kunokubangela umnqweno oqinileyo wokuthetha nomntu-nabani na oya kuqonda indlela oziva ngayo kwaye uphulaphule ngaphandle kokugweba. Ukuba awunayo indawo ephephile ukubonisa intlungu yakho, le mivakalelo ingakhokelela ekuhlakalweni kwezenhlalakahle okanye ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo ukukhusela intlungu entliziyweni yakho.
- Ukuxhalabisa: Xa ukhathalela umntu obathandayo ofa, kufana nokuhlala kwimeko yokuxhalabisa okwexeshana lonke ixesha. Ukuxhalabisa, kunokubangela iimpawu zomzimba ezinjengobungangamsha, ukubetha, nokugubha.
- Ukuzilungisa: Kubantu abathile, ixesha ngaphambi kokufa komntu othandekayo lunokuba yinto enetyala elikhulu-ngakumbi ukuba umthandayo uyabandezeleka. Ngexesha elifanayo ukuba ulangazelela umthandi wakho ukuba akhululeke intlungu (kwaye ke, afe), uyamoyika umzuzu wokuba ukufa kuya kwenzeka. Unokuthi ufumane unomdla wecala , unetyala oya kukwazi ukuqhubeka kunye nobomi bakho ngelixa omnye umntu engenako.
- Ukukhathazeka ngokukodwa ngomntu ofayo: Unokuzifumana uxhalabele kakhulu ngomthandayo, kwaye le nkxalabo ingaba neengxaki zomzimba, ngokomzimba okanye ngokomoya.
- Ukuphinda uhlaziye ngokufa: Unokufumana ukuba ukhangele oko kuya kuba ngathi ukuba wakho othandekayo uhambe. Okanye ukuba ufa, ukhangele indlela abazithandayo abaza kuqhuba ngayo emva kokufa kwakho. Abantu abaninzi banomuzwa onetyala malunga nale ngcamango, kodwa baqhelekile kwaye bayingxenye yokwamkela ukungaqiniseki kokufa.
- Iingxaki zomzimba: iingxaki zomzimba ezifana nobunzima bokulala kunye neengxaki zememori. Funda kabanzi malunga nomzimba wokuba usizi.
- Ukwesaba ukulahleka, uvelwano kunye nenkxalabo yabantwana: Olunye uphando lubone ukuba ukwesaba malunga noko kwakuza kwenzeka kunye nendlela ababeya kunyamekelwa ngayo babomelele kakhulu kubantwana abajongene nokufa komzali okanye nootatomkhulu.
Nangona usenokuba weva ngezigaba zentlungu kunye nemisebenzi emine yokudabuka, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba abaninzi abantu abayilandele ngokufanelekileyo le nyathelo ngalunye kwaye bafumene ukuba bavuswe ngenye intsasa bazivumile okwenzekileyo kwaye ku hlaziywa. Endaweni yoko, nawaphi na amanyathelo angabakho nanini na kwaye unokufumana uvakalelwa iimvakalelo ezifanayo, ukubuza imibuzo okanye ukuphelelwa lithemba ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Njengoko kuphawuliwe ngasentla, akukho ndlela efanelekileyo yokuziva okanye ukulila.
Unyango kunye nokucebisa
Intlungu ekulindelekileyo yinkqubo eqhelekileyo ekuqhubekeni kwentlungu. Kodwa kwezinye iimeko, le ntlungu ingaba nzima kangangokuba iphazamise ukukwazi kwakho ukujamelana nayo. Kuqhelekile ukuba abantu bahlakulele ukuxinezeleka xa bejongene nazo zonke ilahleko ezixinzelelekileyo iintlungu kwaye kunokukunzima ukuhlukanisa intlungu yokudakumba.
Funa uncedo ngengcali yezempilo yengqondo xa ufumana ubunzima bokujamelana. Kufuneka ufumanise ukuba awuqinisekanga ukuba ulwa nomsindo "oqhelekileyo" okanye endaweni "nzima".
Ukujamelana
Kubalulekile ukubonisa intlungu yakho kwaye uzivumele udikelele. Ukufumana umhlobo okanye omnye umthandayo onokuthetha ngayo ngokucacileyo ngeyona nto inceda kakhulu, njengoko kugcinwa ithemba kunye nokulungiselela ukufa ngexesha elifanayo kunzima. Kunokuba nzima kunokuba abantu banokuzibuza ukuba kutheni unesizi-mhlawumbi ube nomsindo ukuba uyadabuka-ngaphambi kokufa. Gcina ukhumbule ukuba ukuvumela ukuba uhambe akuthethi ukuba ufanele ukuyeka ukuthanda umthandayo-nangemva kokufa. Ngeli nqanaba, abanye abantu baqala ukufumana indawo ephephile entliziyweni yabo ukuba bakhumbule umhlobo wabo ongeke afe.
> Imithombo:
> Cheng, J. et al. Ukuhlolisisa intlungu ekulindelekileyo kwizigulane zomhlaza eziphezulu. Psychooncology . 2010. 19 (7): 693-700.
> Coelho, A., no A. Barbosa. Uxinzelelo lweentsapho. I-American Journal ye-Hospice kunye noKhathalelo lwePalliative . 2016 Jan 1. (Epub ngaphambi kokuprinta).
> Gross, J. et al. Intlungu ekulindelekileyo kubantwana abaselula kunye nabaselula abaswele umdlavuza womzali. Praxis Kinderpsychologie und Kinderpsyychiatrie . 2012. 61 (6): 414-31.
> Hottensen, D. Ukuxhalaba kwezilwanyana ezinomdlavuza. I-Clinical Journal ye-Oncology Nursing . 2010. 14 (1): 106-7.
> UJohansson A., no-A. Grimby. Intlungu ekulindelekileyo kwizihlobo ezithandwayo zezigulane kwizigulane zokubhedlele kunye neelliative ward. I-American Journal yeBhedlele kunye noKhathalelo lwePalliative . 2012. 29 (2): 134-8.