Ukuqwashiswa komntu wokufa wokuba ukufa ku kufuphi
Izigulane ezininzi ezihamba kwinkqubo yokufa ziyakwazi ukufumana into eyaziwayo ngokuthi "ukufutshane nokuqonda ukufa". Olu lwazi olukhethekileyo lokuba umntu ofayo unokufa. Amaxesha amaninzi oku kukwaziswa kukunyanzelwanga ngabantu abathandayo kunye nabanikezeli bezempilo kwaye banokuphosakela ngenxa yokungazinzi okanye ukungahlali . Kubalulekile ukuqonda okokufuphi ukuqwashiswa kokufa kunokubonakala ngathi kunye nendlela ehluke ngayo ukungabi nantoni okanye ukungazinzi kokugcina ukuze ukwazi ukuxhasa umhlobo wakho ngendlela engcono kakhulu.
Ukufumana Ukuqwashiswa Kokufa
Abahlengikazi be-Hospice uMaggie Callanan noPatricia Kelley benguvulindlela wokwazisa ngokufa ngenxa yomsebenzi wokunyamekela abafayo. Bayaqaphela impawu yokuba izigulana zazi ukuba kukho into eyenzekayo kubo - ukuba ngandlela-thile babesazi ukuba ukufa kwasondele, nangona bengenakukwazi ukuyichaza ngokwemigaqo yethu. Bakubhala malunga nolwazi olukhethekileyo kwiincwadi zabo zokugqibela zokugqibela .
Njengoko isigulane sithatha kwinkqubo yokufa, inokwenza izitatimende okanye izenzo ezingabonakali ukuba zenze ingqiqo. Abanye bangamthabatha ngokuthi "uyamkholisa," "ulahlekelwa yingqondo yakhe," okanye "ukucoca." Amachiza anganikwa ukunyanga oko abanye oogqirha okanye oongikazi bacinga ukuba yi-delirium. Usapho kunye nabahlobo banokuzama ukuncedisa "umntwana othethayo" ukumnciphisa okanye ngokuzama ukumxhoma kwakhona "kwinyani" kunye nokunciphisa oko athethayo.
Ukulungiselela Uhambo
Abanye abantu abasweleyo bathetha ukulungiselela uhambo okanye ukulungele ukuhamba.
Kwizipho zokugqibela , abalobi bathetha ibali likaLaura owayenenguqu ngokukhawuleza ekuziphatheni kwakhe okukhathazayo umyeni wakhe. Wayelahlekelwe intombi, uSusan, kwiminyaka ngaphambili kwaye wayesele efile. Umyeni wakhe, ukhathazekile ngokubukeka kwakhe kude kunye nenkulumo "edidekile", ebizwa ngokuba ngumhlengikazi wokubelelisa . Xa efika, wabuza uLaura, "Yintoni eyenzekayo kuwe, Laura?
Ubuphi?"
"Ixesha lokungena kumgca," uLaura waphendula.
Ndixelele ngakumbi malunga nomgca, "umongikazi u-coaxed." Ngaba kukho na umntu owaziyo? "
"USusan usemgceni," u-Laura uthe, ehleka ngokumomotheka, kodwa eqhubeka ekhangele kwindawo.
Baqhubeka bexoxa malunga "nomgca" kunye noLaura babelane ukuba indoda yakhe ayikwazanga ukuya naye. Wayelungiselela ukuhamba noJoe aze aphinde ahlangane noSusan. Yintoni eyayiyicatshulwa ngokuthi "ukudideka" ukuziphatha kwaba yindlela kaLaura yokuxelela umyeni wakhe ukuba ulungele ukufa?
Ibali likaJoseph
Umzekelo endihlangabezane nawo ngokwam isisigulane egama linguJose *. UJose wayeyindoda eneminyaka engama-45 ubudala efa ngenxa yokungaphumeleli kweengtso , inkxalabo yesifo sikashukela esingalawulwayo. Xa ndandwendwela uYoseli ukuba ndimmkele ekunakekeleni esibhedlele, wandibuza ukuba ndingayifumana i-tuxedo kwaye ndimfake. Intsapho yakhe yathi kum, "Musa ukukhathazeka ngale nto, ucele ukuba senze loo mini yonke.
Ndambuza uYose ukuba wayeyifunayo i-tuxedo yakhe. "Ngaba uceba ukuya kwindawo ethile, uYoseph?" UJose waphendula wathi, "Ewe, ndiyadinga i-tuxedo yam. Ixesha lokuhamba kwaye ndifuna ukujonga okusemandleni am. Iingxowa zam zipakishwe kwaye ndifuna nje i-tuxedo yam."
Emva kweeyure ezimbalwa, uYosefu wafa. Wayelungiselela "uhambo" lwakhe ekufeni kwaye wayefuna ukujonga kakuhle.
Into eyayicinga ukuba intsapho yakhe yayididekile ngokwenene into ekhethekileyo.
Izipho zokugqibela
Kwizipho zokugqibela ababhali babhala kwakhona:
"Ngokugcina iingqondo ezivulekileyo nangokuphulaphula ngokucophelela abantu abafa, sinokuqala ukuqonda imiyalezo abayibonisa ngesimboli okanye isiphakamiso." Ngokuqhelekileyo sinokuyichaza ulwazi olubalulekileyo kunye nokucacisa ukuxhalabisa nokukhathazeka komntu ekufeni. Ngoko ke inxaxheba ngokubanzi kwiimeko zokufa, iintsapho kunye nabahlobo banokufumana induduzo kunye nolwazi olubalulekileyo malunga noko kufana nokufa kufana nokufunekayo ukufezekisa ukufa ngokuthula. "
Ngokuthetha okanye izenzo, umntu osweleyo unokuzama ukusidlulisela iimfuno zabo, iimfuno zabo, okanye iimfuno zokufa ngokuthula. Basenokuthi balungiselele abo bathandekayo kwisiganeko abakwazi ukuchaza ngokugcwele. Kubalulekile ukuphulaphula ngokucophelela oko okuthandayo okufayo kuthetha ukuba awuphosoli into ebalulekileyo neyodwa.
Ukubona Abantu Neendawo
Ukufumana Ukuqwashiswa Kokufa kudla ngokubandakanya imibono yabathandekayo okanye izidalwa zomoya, nangona kungabonakali ukuba ukufa kusondele. " Izipho zokugqibela
Oku kwenzeka ngokuqhelekileyo. Iintsapho ezininzi ziye zabelane nam ukuba umhlobo wabo othandekayo wayebhekiselele ekuboneni izihlobo ezilahlekileyo okanye iingelosi kwigumbi lawo. Le "mibono" ngamanye amaxesha ihluthwa njengento "yeengcamango" kodwa ingaba uphawu oluphawulekayo lokuba ukufa kusondele.
Ukubona "izulu" okanye "indawo enhle" yinto efana nezinye izigulane ezifayo, nangona "azinjalo" zonqulo. Abanye bangabika ukuba bashiye umzimba wabo bahamba kwenye indawo, abanye bathetha ngokubona enye indawo okanye "nje ukukhanya".
Ukwazi Xa Kuza Kufa Ukufa
Andiyi kulibala i-Sue *. Ndamkela uSue ku-hospice 5 kwiiveki ngaphambi kokuzalwa kwakhe kwe-87. Wayenomdla wokuphefumula , wayephefumlelwe kakhulu, kwaye akazange abonakale kum njengokuba wayenomdla wokuhlala. Ngokujonga oko wayesazi malunga nokugula kwakhe, ndambuza ukuba wayecinga ntoni.
"Ndiya kufa," waphendula ngokucacileyo.
Ngaba unayo ingqiqo ukuba uye wahlala ixesha elingakanani ukuba uphile? "Ndabuza.
"Hayi, ndiyazi kakuhle xa ndiza kufa-ngomhla wokuzalwa kwam 87. Zikuphela kweeveki ezimbalwa nje."
Ndiyakhumbula ndiziva ndibuhlungu ngenxa yokuba andingacingi ukuba uya kuhlala ixesha elide okanye enye iveki. Sue wamangalisa ngokuphila ixesha elide kunokuba ndikulindele kwaye wafa ekuqaleni kweeyure zokuzalwa kwakhe kwe-87.
"Ukudla abantu kubonakala ngathi bayazi ukuba kuza kubakho ukufa kwabo, ngamanye amaxesha ukuya kwixesha okanye kwiyure. Izipho zokugqibela
Hlalani Nantsi Ingqalelo Ngoko Awuyi Kulilahleka
Ukuba umntu obathandayo ngokukhawuleza ubonakala esebenza ngendlela eyahlukileyo okanye ebonakala edidekile kwiintetho nangezenzo zabo, musa ukukhawuleza nje ngokuyichitha njengoko unyango lithetha okanye isifo esibangela ukudideka. Bobabini iziganeko zinokwenzeka, kodwa ukuba uthabatha ixesha lokuphulaphula uze uzame ukucacisa oko umthandayo akutshoyo, unokufumana into eyenzekayo. Nangona kunjalo, hlala uqaphele umhlengikazi wakho wokubeletha kulolu tshintsho olutsha ukuze kwenziwe uvavanyo olufanelekileyo.
* Amagama ashintshelwe ukuba abucala.