I-DABDA, izigaba ezinhlanu zokujamelana nokufa, zachazwa kuqala nguElizabeth Kübler-Ross kwincwadi yakhe yeklasi, ethi "Ekufeni nasekufeni," ngo-1969.
Amanyathelo amele oku kulandelayo:
- Ukulahlwa
- Intukuthelo
- Ukuxoxisana
- Ukuxinezeleka
- Ukwamkela
Izigaba ezihlanu ze-Kübler-Ross isigaba sigaba sigaba sichazwa ngokugqithiseleyo kwimpendulo engqondweni nangokwengqondo abantu abaninzi abajamelana nayo xa bejongene nesifo esisongela ubomi okanye imeko eguqula ubomi.
Ezi zigaba azisebenzisi kuphela kwilahleko ngenxa yokufa kodwa ezinokuthi zenzeke kumntu obhekana nesiganeko esitshintsha ubomi, njengokwahlukana okanye ukulahlekelwa ngumsebenzi.
Ezi zigaba azithethi ukuba zizalise okanye zilandelwe. Akunjalo wonke umntu ojamelana nesongelo lobomi okanye isiguqu sokuphila ubomi uvakalelwa zonke iimpendulo zintlanu kwaye bonke abantu ababafumanayo baya kwenza njalo ngendlela ebhalwayo. Ukuphendulela kwisifo, ukufa kunye nokulahleka kuyingqayizivele njengomntu obafumanayo.
Encwadini yakhe, uKübler-Ross uxoxa ngale ngcamango yokujongana ngendlela ehambelanayo, oku kuthetha ukuba umntu uhamba kwelinye iqanaba ukuze afinyelele elilandelayo. Kamva wachaza ukuba le ngcamango yayingakaze ifune ukuba ibe yinkalo okanye ingafakwa kubo bonke abantu; indlela umntu ahamba ngayo kwiinqanaba zifana neyodwa.
Kubalulekile ukukhumbuza ukuba abanye abantu baya kuba namava onke, ezinye ngeendlela kwaye abanye bengabikho, kunye nabanye abantu banokufumana amaqela ambalwa okanye bahlangane kunye.
Kwakhona kunomdla ukuphawula ukuba indlela umntu ajongene nayo ubunzima kwixesha elidlulileyo liya kuthintela indlela ukuxilongwa kwesifo sokuphela kugcinwe ngayo. Ngokomzekelo, ibhinqa elalisoloko libalekele ubunzima kwaye lisebenzisa ukungafuni ukujamelana neentlekele kwixesha elidlulileyo lingazifumana linyanzeliswe kwinqanaba lokukhanyela lokunyamezela ixesha elide.
Ngokufanayo, umntu osebenzisa ubumsindo ekujonganeni neemeko ezinzima unokufumanisa akakwazi ukuphuma kwinqanaba lomsindo lokuxhatshazwa.
Ukulahla - Isigaba 1
Sonke sifuna ukukholelwa ukuba akukho nto imbi inokwenzeka ngathi. Ngengqiqo, sinokukholwa ukuba asifi. Xa umntu enikwa ukuxilongwa kwesifo esibulalayo, kuyinto engokwemvelo ukungena kwinqanaba lokukhanyela nokuzihlukanisa. Basenokungakholelwa into yokuba ugqirha ubaxelela kwaye bafune iimbono zesibini neyesithathu. Basenokufuna iisethi ezintsha zeemvavanyo, bakholelwa ukuba iziphumo zabokuqala zibuxoki. Abanye abantu basenokuzihlukanisa noogqirha babo kwaye banqabile ukufumana unyango olungaphezulu kwexesha.
Ngeli nqanaba, umntu unokuzihlukanisa nentsapho kunye nabahlobo bakhe ukuphepha iingxoxo ngokugula kwakhe. Bangakholelwa kwinqanaba elithile lokuba ngokungavumelani nokuxilongwa kuza kupheliswa.
Eli nqanaba lokukhanyela lihlala lifutshane. Kungekudala emva kokungena, abaninzi baqala ukwamkela ukuxilongwa kwabo. Isigulana sinokuphuma ngaphandle kwaye siphinde siphucule unyango.
Nangona kunjalo, abanye abantu baya kusebenzisa ukukhanyela njengendlela yokubamba ixesha elide kwisifo sabo baze bafe. Ukwenyuswa okwandisiweyo akusoloko kuyinto embi; ayisoloko ivelisa uxinzelelo.
Ngamanye amaxesha siyakholelwa ngokuphosakeleyo ukuba abantu kufuneka bafumane indlela yokwamkela ukufa kwabo ukuze bakwazi ukufa ngokuthula. Abo bethu abaye babona abantu bahlala bekhanyela kude kube sekupheleni bayazi ukuba akusoloko kuqinisile.
Intukuthelo - Isigaba 2
Njengoko umntu esamkela into eyenziwa yi-terminal diagnostic, bangaqala ukubuza, "Kutheni na?" Ukuqonda ukuba onke amathemba abo, amaphupha, kunye nezicwangciso ezilungiselelwe kakuhle aziyi kuza kuzisa umsindo nentlungu. Ngelishwa, lo msindo udlalwa ngokubanzi kwihlabathi kwaye ngeenxa zonke.
Oogqirha kunye nabongikazi bayalizwa esibhedlele; Amalungu omndeni abingeniswa ngentshiseko kwaye ahlala esweleka ngokungahambi kakuhle.
Nabantu abangaziwayo abaxhomekeke kwizenzo zomsindo onokuzenza.
Kubalulekile ukuqonda apho lo msindo uvela khona. Umntu ofayo angabuka i-TV aze abone abantu behleka kwaye bedansa-isikhumbuzo esibuhlungu sokuba akayi kuhamba kwakhona, makungabikho udaniso.
Incwadi ethi On Death and Dying , uKübler-Ross uchaza ngokucacileyo lo msindo: "Uya kuphakamisa ilizwi lakhe, uya kucela, uya kukhononda kwaye acele ukuba anikwe ingqwalasela, mhlawumbi njengesandi sokugqibela esithi, 'Ndiphila, Ungakulibali loo nto.Uyakuva ilizwi lam. andisayi kufa! '"
Kwabaninzi abantu, eli nqanaba lokuhlangabezana nalo lifutshane. Kwakhona, nangona kunjalo, abanye abantu baya kuqhubeka bevutha ngumsindo ngenxa yezifo ezininzi. Abanye baya kufelwa.
Ukuxoxisana - Isigaba 3
Xa ukuphika kunye nentlungu engenazo iinjongo ezijoliswe kuyo, kulo mzekelo ukuxilongwa okuphosakeleyo okanye unyango olungummangaliso, abantu abaninzi baya kuqhuba ukuxoxisana. Uninzi lwethu sele sizame ukuxoxisana ngexesha elithile ebomini bethu. Abantwana bafunda ukususela kumncinci ukuba umsindo ngoMama xa athi "cha" ayisebenzi, kodwa ukuzama iindlela ezahlukeneyo kunokuthi. Njengomntwana onalo ixesha lokuphinda ucinge ngomsindo kwaye aqalise inkqubo yokuxoxisana nomzali, kunjalo nabantu abaninzi abanesifo esibulalayo.
Uninzi lwabantu abangena kwisiteji sokuxoxisana benza njalo noThixo wabo. Bangavuma ukuba baphile ubomi obulungileyo, bancede abasweleyo, bangaze balala kwakhona, okanye naziphi na izinto "ezilungileyo" ukuba amandla abo aphezulu aya kubaphilisa kuphela ukugula kwabo.
Abanye abantu banokuxoxa noogqirha okanye ngesifo ngokwalo. Basenokuzama ukuxoxisana ixesha elide besithi izinto ezinje, "Ukuba ndikwazi ukuhlala ixesha elide ukuze ndibone intombi yam isatshatile ..." okanye "Ukuba nje ndiyakwazi ukukhwela ngesithuthuthu sam elinye ixesha". ukuba abayi kubuza nantoni na ukuba ngaba benqwenela kuphela. Abantu abangena kweli nqanaba banokufunda ngokukhawuleza ukuba i-bargaining ayisebenzi kwaye ihamba ngokuthe tye, ngokuqhelekileyo ibe yindawo yokudandatheka.
Ukudandatheka - Isigaba 4
Xa kuyacaca ukuba isigulo sokugcina silapha ukuhlala, abantu abaninzi banokudakumba. Umthwalo owandileyo wokuhlinzwa, unyango, kunye neempawu zokugula, umzekelo, kwenza kube nzima kwabanye abantu ukuba bahlale bexhala okanye bafune ukunyanzela ukumomotheka. Ukunyanzeliswa, kwakhona, kungangena.
UKübler-Ross uchaza ukuba kukho ezimbini iintlobo zokudandatheka kule nqanaba. Ukudandatheka kokuqala, okubizwa ngokuba "ukuguquka kwengqondo," kubonakala njengempendulo kwilahleko zangoku kunye nezidlulileyo. Ngokomzekelo, umfazi ofunyaniswa ngumhlaza wesibeleko unokuqala ukulahlekelwa yisisu sakhe kwisifo kunye neenwele zakhe kwi-chemotherapy. Umyeni wakhe ushiywe engencedi ukunyamekela abantwana babo abathathu, ngelixa ugula kwaye kufuneka athumele abantwana kwilungu losapho ngaphandle kwedolophu. Ngenxa yokuba unyango lwemhlaza lubiza kakhulu, lo mfazi kunye neqabane lakhe abanakukwazi ukuthenga imali yabo kwaye bafuna ukuthengisa ikhaya labo. Le ntokazi ibona ingqondo elahlekileyo yileyo naleyo yezi ziganeko kwaye iyancipha.
Uhlobo lwesibini lwexinzelelo lubizwa ngokuthi "ukuxinezeleka." Le nqanaba apho umntu kufuneka ajongane nokulahleka kwexesha elizayo kwinto yonke kunye nabo bonke abathandayo. Uninzi lwabantu luya kuchitha eli thuba lokulila ngokucinga ngokuthula njengoko zilungiselela ukulahleka okupheleleyo.
Eli nqanaba lokudakumba kukuba kubalulekile ukuhamba. Kulixesha lokulila elibalulekileyo kumntu ofayo ukuhlangabezana nokufa kwabo. Ukuba bayakwazi ukulila ngokuzeleyo kwaye bahambe ngokudakumba, isigaba sokwamkelwa siya kulandelwa.
Ukwamkela - Isigaba 5
Isigaba sokwamkela apho abantu abaninzi banokuba khona xa befa. Kuyiqanaba lokusombulula ngokusisigxina ukuba ukufa kuya kwenzeka kunye nokulindela kokulindela kokufika kwayo. Ukuba umntu unenhlanhla ngokwaneleyo ukufikelela kweli nqanaba, ukufa kudla uxolo. Baye banemvume yokubonakalisa ukwesaba, umsindo kunye nentlungu. Baye bafumana ixesha lokulungisa kunye nokuthetha abantu abathandekayo. Umntu uye waba nexesha lokulilazela ukulahlekelwa ngabantu abaninzi abalulekayo nezinto ezibhekiselele kubo.
Abanye abantu abafunyaniswa emva kokugula kwabo kwaye abanalo ixesha lokusebenza kwezi zigaba ezibalulekileyo abanakuze bamkele ukwamkelwa kwangempela. Abanye abangenakuhamba ukusuka kwelinye isigaba-indoda ehlala ethukuthele kwihlabathi de kube sekufeni kwayo, umzekelo-akanakuze aphinde abe nokuthula kokwamkela . Ngomntu onenhlanhla oza kuwamkela, isigaba sokugqibela ngaphambi kokufa sisoloko sichithwa ngokucatshulwa ngokuthula njengoko bephendukela ngaphakathi ukuze balungiselele ukuhamba kwabo kokugqibela.
> Imithombo:
> Kübler-Ross, E. Ekufeni nasekufeni. 1969. eNew York, NY: Abapapashi beScribner.
> Izigaba ezi-5 zosizi. Psycom. 2017.