Yintoni ongayithetha kuMtshatanga wakho, abantwana kunye nomqeshi
Ukuxelela abahlobo kunye nosapho ukuba ufumene ukuba unomdlavuza akuwona umsebenzi olula. Akukuphela nje ukuba ufanele uhlangabezane nemvakalelo emitsha ovakalelwa ngayo, kodwa kufuneka ujamelane nokuphendula komntu othethayo. Oku kunokubangela uxinzelelo olongezelelweyo, olunokunyusa ukwesaba kwakho kunye nokuxhalaba ngomhlaza . Esi sikhokelo sinokukunceda ekukhuliseni inkqubo.
Ngaba Unokuxelela Wonke umntu Ukuba Unomdlavuza?
Abantu abaninzi banomuva wokuba baxelele ukuxilongwa kwabo bonke abantu ababazungezile xa baqala ukufumana ingxaki yomhlaza. Uvakalelwa ngathi ukuba wonke umntu uyazi ukuba uyaqhelekileyo; nangona kunjalo, akusoloko kulunge. Unokufumanisa ukuba kungcono ukuxelela kuphela abo baza kuba yinxalenye yenkqubo efanelekileyo yokuxhasa , njengamalungu osapho osondeleyo kunye nabahlobo abasondeleyo. Abanye abantu baziva beziva benetyala ngenxa yokuba bengabelani ngokuxilongwa kwabo kunye nabahlobo abathile. Musa. Umsebenzi wakho okwangoku nje kukugxila ekufumaneni impilo, kwaye oko kunokuthetha ukuba ungabelani nokuxilongwa kwakho nabani na obomini bakho obonakala bekhupha izinga lakho lamandla.
Ukulungiselela iNtetho
Ngaphambi kokuba utshele abathandekayo bakho, qaphela izinto ezimbalwa. Abantu baya kuphendulwa ngokuhlukileyo, kuxhomekeke kubuntu babo, kunye nawaphi na amava anaphambili ayenayo ngomhlaza . Uninzi lwabantu abafumaniswe nomhlaza banokutshatyalaliswa xa befumanisa ukuba abahlobo babecinga ukuba babe kunye nabo ngokugqithiseleyo kwaye banqabile babonakala bephela, kanti abahlobo abangabaziyo nabo babonakala bephuma kwimithi ukuba babe ngumthombo omkhulu inkxaso.
Zizilungiselele (ngokusemandleni akho) ngenxa yokuba abanye abantu abayi kuphendula ngendlela oya kuyenza.
Gcina ukhumbule ukuba akudingeki ukuba ube ngowomnye ukwabelana ngesifo sakho. Abantu abaninzi bakuthola kulula ukumisela "othethayo" ukwabelana ngeendaba, ubuncinane ukwabelana ngeendaba kunye nabantu abangaphandle kwesangqa sabo sangaphakathi.
Ukufumana amagama afanelekileyo
Unokuqala njani ukwabelana ngesifo sakho kwihlabathi? Umngeni omkhulu kunzima ukuthetha amagama athi "Ndiba nomhlaza." Ukuthetha loo mazwi ngokuzwakalayo kunokukhulula iimvakalelo onokuzikhupha. Ukuxelela omnye umntu ngandlela-thile kwenza eso sifo sibe yinyani; iyasebenza. Nangona kunokuba kunzima ukufumana amagama afanelekileyo, kuyindlela yokwelapha kakhulu, kuba uyavuma ukuba ugula. Ukumkela kuyisinyathelo sokuqala ekujonganeni nomhlaza .
Xa abantu abaninzi beqala ukuva igama elithi "umhlaza," bacinga ngokugqithiseleyo into eyona nto.Ingumthwalo wakho wokubafundisa ngokobukhulu besifo. ngabantu abaxhalabileyo kunye nokwesaba okubonakalayo kwaye abayikuvumela ukuba bakwazi ukujamelana ngendlela ephilileyo. Khumbula, indlela ojamelana nayo ibaluleke kakhulu-kungekhona indlela abajongene ngayo nesifo sakho.
Ukuxelela Umlingani Wakho okanye Umlingani Unayo I-Cancer
Iqabane lakho okanye iqabane lakho liza kuba ngumntu wokuqala othetha naye ngesigxina sakho somhlaza. Mhlawumbi uya kuba ngumnakekeli wakho ngexesha lokunyanga kwaye unokuba yinkqubo engcono yokuxhasa onayo. Kubalulekile ukunyaniseka ngokupheleleyo ngomhlaza wakho kunye nokuxela.
Ukuvumela iqabane lakho ukuba lihambisane nawe kwiindawo zokutyunjelwa kuzakukwenza uzive ukhululekile ohambweni lwakho. Xa unomlingane onika inkxaso ekugqibeleni, ukulwa nomhlaza kuqala ukuvakalelwa njengomsebenzi, kwaye uya kuziva unamandla.
Ukuxelela abantwana abaselula ukuba unayo umdlavuza
Akunakuze kulula ukuxelela abantwana iindaba ezimbi. Abazali banemvelo yokukhusela iimvakalelo zabantwana babo, ngoko ngamanye amaxesha abazali bakhetha ukushiya ulwazi oluthile. Iingcali ezininzi zeengqondo ziyavuma ukuba-nangona injongo ilungile-oku kubangela ukuba abantwana bangaphaya kade. Ngamafutshane, ukuthetha ngokuthe tye kunye nokunyaniseka kukuhle.
Kubalulekile ukuvumela abantwana bakho ukuba banomdlavuza kwaye bathembeke malunga nomhlaza. Ungacingi ukuba bayazi ngokuzenzekelayo oko kuthetha ukuthatha eso sifo okanye ukuba bayaqonda ukuba ukuxhaswa kwee-cancer ezihlukeneyo kuyahlukahluka kakhulu. Cacisa inkqubo yomzimba yendlela umhlaza okhula ngayo, kunye neyiphi imithi oyonyango oya kuba nayo, uza kubafumana ixesha elingakanani, nokuba yiyiphi imiphumo emibi.
Ezinye iingcali zincoma ukulibazisa ukuxelela abantwana de ukuba uqaphele ubukhulu besifo sakho kunye naluphi na unyango oya kuthatha. Abantwana baqonda ngokugqithiseleyo xa bebona yonke imifanekiso, kungekhona nje amaqhekeza. Khumbula ukuba nethemba uze ubavumele ukuba bangene ngezwi lakho kunye nolwimi lomzimba. Ukuthembela kwakho ngokubetha umdlavuza kuya kubaqinisekisa. Ukuba ukhetha ukulinda, ke, qiniseka ukuba umntwana wakho akayiva iindaba ezidibanisayo njengoko eva ingxoxo yakho yefoni okanye ukutyelela abanye. Abantwana abavayo kuphela inxalenye yesithombe banokucinga ngeso simo esona sibi kakhulu engqondweni yabo-kwaye bazame ukujamelana nelo xesha elizayo.
Kwakhona kubalulekile ukuba abantwana bakho bazi ukuba isifo sakho asinasifo kwaye asiyi kubachaphazela ngokwenyama. Oku kunokuba nokuba yimibuzo yokuqala ebuza yona. Abazingcazeli. Abantwana bavame ukuva malunga nabantu abamba ubanda okanye umkhuhlane kwaye ngokwemvelo bacinga ukuba kunokufana nomhlaza.
Indlela oyichazela ngayo abantwana bakho kwaye yeyiphi inkcazelo oyinyulayo ukuba bayakwazi kuya kuxhomekeka kwiminyaka yabo. Ukuba unemibuzo malunga nokuxelela abantwana bakho nokuba yintoni umphumo onokuyenza, qhagamshelana nengcali yengqondo yomntwana okanye wezingane. Uyakwazi ukukuqeqesha ukuba uthini nento ongathethi. Ukuba umntwana wakho unokholo oluthile, ukudweba kwilo okanye ukubandakanya ilungu lezefundisi njengalowo umfundisi okanye umrhi unokukunceda-ngakumbi ukuba unomdla womhlaza onobuhlwempu.
Nazi ezinye iingcinga ngokuxelela umntwana wakho ukuba unomdlavuza . Eli nqaku liquka ezinye zezinto eziqhelekileyo ezifunwa ngabantwana ukuze ukwazi ukucinga oko umntwana wakho anokucinga kwaye uzilungele ukumphendula ngokucacileyo ngokunokwenzeka.
Ukuxelela Iintsholongwane Zakho Ukuba Unomdlavuza
Iminyaka yeshumi elivisayo iyaxhalaba ngaphandle kokubonakala komhlaza. Kwaye njengokuba intsha ifana nomsindo onokuhamba ngokugqithiseleyo kumcimbi wemizuzwana, malunga nantoni na eyenzekayo xa kuthethwa indlela abaya kusabela ngayo xa ufumanisa umdlavuza.
Mhlawumbi umsebenzi onzima kakhulu kuwe uza kuba uqhubeke nokubonelela ngenkxaso kunye nenkqubela. Unokuvakalelwa kukuba kufuneka uvumeleke ngakumbi-njengokungathi ufuna ukulungiselela uxinzelelo olungakumbi olutsha olujongene naloo nto-kodwa ungenzi. Khawucinge nje njengomlondolozo wobomi bomntwana wakho. Unokuyivavanya imigaqo ngaphezu kwexesha eliqhelekileyo (kwaye oku kuya kukumangalisa), kodwa kufuneka aqonde ukuba imithetho ayitshintshi. Kukho ukhuseleko olukhulu ekukhombiseni izikhokelo ezicacileyo xa ubomi obungabonakali ukuba bulandela imithetho.
Ukuxelela Abahlobo Ukuba Unomdlavuza
Kwakhona, xa uthetha nabahlobo bakho malunga nokuxilongwa kwakho, qiniseka kwaye uthembeke. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ungakhetha kwaye ukhethe yintoni iinkcukacha onokuthanda ukuzabelana ngazo. Kodwa khumbula: Laba ngabantu abaya kuba yinkxaso yakho kwinkqubo. Ukuthetha ngokuchanekileyo malunga nokwesaba nokuxhalaba kubalulekile ekufumaneni inkxaso oyifunayo.
Ukuxelela umqeshi wakho ukuba unayo umdlavuza
Akukho ixesha elifanelekileyo okanye elingalunganga ukuvumela umqashi wakho ukuba uyaba nomhlaza-kodwa kukho izinto ezimbalwa omele uzicinge ngaphambi kokuba uxoxe ngesihloko. Ukuba ukwabelana ngesifo sakho, unokufumana inkxaso engakumbi, kokubili kumqeshi kunye nabasebenzi bakho, kodwa imeko yonke iyahluka, kwaye kukho amaxesha apho kungcono ukuba ungathethi nto. Khangela le ngcaciso ngokuxelela umqeshi ukuba unomdlavuza , oquka ulwazi ngamalungelo akho njengomqeshwa xa ufunyanwe. Ukuba uqikelele nayiphi na ingxaki okanye unenkxalabo, inhlangano engeyiyo inzuzo I-Cancer kunye neMisebenzi inolwazi olunzulu nolwazi olubanzi olunokukunceda kwaye lube ngummeli kubantu abaninzi abanomhlaza njengoko bezama ukulinganisa imisebenzi yabo nesifo.
Ngaphantsi: Ukuthetha Ngomdlavuza Wakho
Akukho ndlela "efanelekileyo" yokuthetha ngomhlaza wakho kunye nosapho kunye nabahlobo. Into ebaluleke kakhulu kukuba ukwabelana ngesifo sakho ngendlela evakalelwa ngayo-kungeyona indlela omnye umntu anokubonisa ngayo. Hamba kunye nesisu sakho. Mhlawumbi isiluleko esihle kakhulu kukuthatha umoya ophefumlelweyo kwaye ube nomonde. Abantu baphendula ngokungafaniyo nokuxilongwa komhlaza kwisithandwa, kwaye kunzima ukuqikelela ukuba umntu uya kuphendula njani. Ngokuphathelele into kuphela engatshintshiyo nokuxilongwa komhlaza utshintshe ngokwalo.
Ukukwabelana ngokuxilongwa kwakho kunokuba nzima kunokuba uvale ukuxilongwa ngokwakho, kodwa kukho iinqununu zesilivere. Ngokuqinisekileyo, akukho mntu unokukhetha ukuhamba nomhlaza, kodwa phakathi kweentlungu kunye nemingeni, kukho ukukhanya kweemvula, kwaye ngezinye izihlandlo zokukhanya zithatha ubuhlobo obutsha okanye obuqinisiweyo. Uphando luye lwabonisa ukuba kunye nazo zonke izikrakra zengqondo kunye nomzimba, unyango luguqula abantu ngendlela efanelekileyo, ngokunjalo .
Oko Kuthetha Nokukwenza Ukuba Othandekayo Uxilongwa Ngomdlavuza
Ukuba umntu obathandayo usandul 'ukutshela ukuba unomhlaza, usenokuziva ukhululekile kwaye ungancedi. Nangona ufuna ukubonelela ngenkxaso, uphinde ujongane ne-self-roller coaster of emotions. Izikhombisi, ngezansi, zinokukunceda ulandele le mihla enzima.
- Yazi Oko Ungathethi: Le ngenye yezinyathelo ezinzima kakhulu zokuqala. Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuthetha into ethile . Kuyamangalisa indlela abantu abathandekayo ababaleka ngayo xa beva igama elithi "C". Le mizekelo yezinto oza kuthetha kumntu ofunyanwe ngumhlaza .
- Linda. Akunakwenzeka ukwazi ukuba uya kuthatha njani xa ufumene unomhlaza uze ube khona. Ukuthatha umzuzwana ukunyathela izicathulo zomthandayo kunokukwenza izinto ezimangalisayo. Hlola ezi ngcamango kubantu abanomdlavuza ukwabelana ngendlela abavakalelwa ngokwenene kunye noko bafuna ukuba abathandekayo babo bazi.
- Zikhathalele. Abathandwayo abaninzi bathintela ekudeni xa benakekela umhlobo okanye ilungu losapho onomdlavuza. Kodwa kufuneka ukhumbule ukuthatha ixesha elincinane lokuphumla, udle kakuhle, kwaye usebenzise umzimba ukuze unamandla okunyamekela omnye umntu. Nazi ezinye izicwangciso zokuzinakekela njengomnakekeli womhlaza .
> Imithombo:
> I-American Society of Clinic Oncology. Cancer.Net. Ukuzali Xa Uhlala Ngomdlavuza. Updated 10/2015. http://www.cancer.net/coping-with-cancer/talking-with----friends/parenting-with-living-with-cancer
> I-American Society of Clinic Oncology. Cancer.Net. Indlela umntwana aqonde ngayo umdlavuza. Updated 12/2015. http://www.cancer.net/coping-with-cancer/talking-with----friends/how-cal-under-scancer
> INational Cancer Institute. Ukuthetha Nabantwana Ngomdlavuza Wakho. Updated 12/02/14. https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping/ilungiselelo-to-cancer/talk-toldren