Bambalwa kakhulu abantu abanomdlavuza wodwa. Umhlaza wesifuba isifo sesapho, kwaye umntu ngamnye uchatshazelwa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Kukho okuninzi esinokubelana ngalo ngobomi bentsapho kunye nomhlaza wesibeletho se-metastatic , kodwa makhe sikhulume ngento exhalabisayo edlalwa yinto eninzi: abanomdla kwintsholongwane yomhlaza.
Ukunyamekela Othandekayo
Ukunyamekela umntu obathandayo ngumdlavuza wesifo se-metastatic kuyinto enye yezinto ezinothando kakhulu oza kuzenza.
Mhlawumbi uza kubukela emva kule mihla ngengqiqo yecala elizayo, ukulibala amaxesha apho iimvakalelo ziqhuma. Okwangoku, unokuziva utyhafile kwaye udinwe.
Uyakuva nawuphi na inani labantu bakhumbuza ukuba uzinyamekele, kwaye amathuba okuba (mhlawumbi ngokuzenzekelayo) uthi "yee kunene" ngetoni yokukrakra. Amagama kulula kakhulu ukuthetha kunokulandela.
Ziziphi abantu abaninzi abangaziqondiyo-ngokukhawuleza-yiyo ezi zilandelayo izidingo zakho ziyakwazi ukubuyela kwaye zikulume. Akunakwenzeka nje ukuhluleka ukuzinyamekela ngenxa yokugula kunye nokunciphisa amandla okunyamekela wakho umthandayo kodwa unokubeka phantsi iingcambu zengqondo ezinamandla ngakumbi: ukucaphuka kunye nentlungu.
Ukuba ungumthandi womntu onomdlavuza webele we-metastatic, siyazi ukuba uyothuswa kwaye uyabuhlungu. Sivile kubantu abanomdlavuza ophezulu okholelwa ukuba amava anzima kunabo abathandekayo kunabo, kwaye oko kudla ngokunyaniseka.
Ubuncinane xa uhlala nomdlavuza wena "wenza into" -kuba oko kuthetha ukuthatha unyango okanye ukuhlangabezana neempawu zomhlaza. Kwabathandwa, ngokuchaseneyo, kunokuba nomvakalelo omkhulu wokungancedi.
Sonke sifuna ukwenza okuthile ukunceda abo sibathandayo. Kodwa xa kufike kumdlavuza webele we-metastatic sinqande kakhulu.
Asikwazi ukuthatha iintlungu zethu abathandekayo. Asikwazi ukufumana unyango. Asinakuze senze izigqibo malunga nokukhethwa kwonyango.
Ngaphezulu kwako konke, unokudinga ukuhlonela umthandayo ngokuxhasa isigqibo sakhe sokwenza umendo ngonyango olungenakukukhetha. Ukuba kukho umlinganiselo wokwenene wothando, oku kungaba luvavanyo olulodwa. Ungakhuthaza njani umntu obathandayo ophandlelela ulwalathiso ongeke uzilandele? Makhe sithethe malunga nento eye yanceda abanye ukuba banakekele umthandayo ngomhlaza webele.
Iingcebiso kubaNonophelo
- Zikhathalele. Siyazi ukuba uvile oko ngaphambili, kodwa ke le ngcamango ingene ngaphakathi. Kufuneka uzinakekele kungekhona nje ngokuba impilo yakho nenhlalakahle ibalulekile, kodwa kuba yindlela kuphela onokuyinyamekela ngayo umthandayo kumgangatho onokukwazi ukuba uyayondla kwaye uphumula. Ukuba unzima nale nto, qwalasela into oyifunayo ukuba iitheyibhile zaguqulwa. Ungathanda ukuba umthandi wakho abe nempilo enokwenzeka kangangoko?
- Musa ukuhamba yedwa. Ngokuqinisekileyo kuthatha idolophana ukuze kuxhaswe umntu ophila nomhlaza webele we-metastatic. Ukuba ungumntu othanda ukuqina kwaye ulawulwe iingxaki ngokwakho, unokufuna ukufunda ukuyeka ezinye zezolawulo. Mhlawumbi omnye umhlobo akanakulungi umpheki, kungekhona njengomphulaphuli, okanye akaqondi kakuhle iimfuno zakho. Funda ukuvumela abanye ukuba bancede nangona uncedo luncinci ngaphantsi kwemigangatho yakho.
- Yongeza uhlazo kwiimeko ezingenanto. Abo bathetha ukuhleka kwezilwanyana yile ndlela yonyango elona lihle mhlawumbi liye lajikeleza umntu onomdlavuza webele we-metastatic. Ukuhlaselwa kwehlazo kunokuzisa ukukhutshwa okufunekayo nakwiimeko ezinzima. Kukho ixesha lokwenene lokuhleka kunye nexesha lokulila.
- Gcina imida yakho. Kuyaziwa kakuhle ukuba abantu abanonophelo lwentsapho yabantu abanomhlaza bangatshisa. Udinga ukwazi ixesha lokuthi hayi okanye ukuba omnye umntu ufuna ukwenza umsebenzi esikhundleni sakho. Kulula ukutshintshe le mida kwaye uzame ukwenza konke, kodwa ungenzi. Kaninzi kunomdla wokufuna ukuthanda kangangoko kunokwenzeka ukuba uphenduke ube ngumsindo wokrakra kunye nentlungu. Ukuba uziva unika ngaphezu kwamakhono akho okanye ukuzincama impilo yakho, fumana enye inketho.
Ukujongana nokuphela koBomi
Ukuba ngumthandi wakho ojamelana nomdlavuza webele weemetastatic, unomngeni onzima. Ngelixa uzama ukuba yinkqubo yokuxhaswa ngumntu wakho othandekayo, ushiywe ukujamelana neemvakalelo zakho, intlungu, ityala, kunye nokukhungatheka, yedwa.
Usizi olulindelekileyo lwenzeka kubathandekayo kakhulu okanye ngakumbi, kwaye unokuvakalelwa njengobumnyama, obunqabileyo, ihlathi. Unokuba uzive unetyala ngenxa yokuziva uvakalelwa kukuba ulahlekelwe ngumntu wakho othandekayo esasondele kuwe kwaye ephila kakhulu.
Kukho ininzi esinokuyibelana ngayo nabathandekayo ekujonganeni nokuphela kokukhathazeka kweengxaki , kodwa enye into ebaluleke kakhulu-nangona ingaqhelwanga ngantoni-malunga nokufa kwabantu.
Kusondele ekupheleni kobomi, kuyaqhelekileyo kubantu abafa ukuqala ukwabelana ngamabali, njengokubona abo bafe ngaphambi okanye bathetha ukuba bakwenye indawo. Kufana nokuba umthandayo unyawo olunye kweli hlabathi kunye nelinye inyawo kwelinye ihlabathi.
Asazi ukuba lithetha ukuthini, kodwa siyazi oko kuthuthuzela abo bafa. Ukuba umhlobo wakho uthetha ngokubona abo bafe ngaphambili, musa ukumlungisa. Musa ukumxelela ukuba ulungelelanisa. Abantu abaninzi bayakhathazeka xa intsapho yabo ingabonakali ukuba bayakholelwa. Mamela nje ngaphandle kokulungisa kwaye unikeze isiqinisekiso sokuthi ukhona kwaye umthande . Kulabo banexesha, unokufumana induduzo ekufundeni incwadi ebhalwe ngabahlengikazi be-hospice malunga nale mizuzu yokugqibela. Incwadi zezipho zokugqibela: Ukuqonda ukuKwazisa okuKhethekileyo, iimfuno kunye noNxibelelwano lokuDala.
Xa umthandi wakho edlula, zinike ixesha lokulila. Uyakwazi ukuva iintlobo ezininzi, kodwa akukho ndlela efanelekileyo yokulila. Abanye abantu bafumana induduzo ekufundeni incwadi efana noJanis Amatuzio's Forever Ours . La mabali abhaliweyo ngumgulane wezilwanyana, asikhumbuze ukuba abo abalahlekileyo bangabikho kude njengoko sicinga.
> Imithombo:
> I-American Psychological Association. Ukuphela kweengxaki zoBomi kunye noKhathalelo. http://www.apa.org/topics/death/end-of-life.aspx
> I-American Society of Clinic Oncology. Cancer.net. Ukujamelana nomhlaza weMetastatic. Ukuhlaziywa kwe-01/2016. https://www.cancer.net/coping-with-cancer/managing-emotions/coping-with-metastatic-cancer
> DeVita, Vincent., Et al. I-Cancer: Imigaqo kunye nokuSebenza kwe-Oncology. Ngomhlaza we Breast. Wolters Kluwer, 2016.