Ngakanani na nini ukwabelana nomdlavuza wakho xa uxolo
Yintoni omele uyayizi malunga nokutshata emva komhlaza? Yiliphi ixesha elifanelekileyo lokwabelana ngesifo sakho, kwaye kufuneka wenze njani oku?
Ukuthandana Emva Kwengcinezelo
Masijongane nayo: ukutshata kunzima kule mihla. Izele izigqibo ezingenakunqandeka, ukusuka ekucingeni ixesha elide lokulinda ngaphambi kokubiza, ukukhetha ixesha elifanelekileyo lokuhlangabezana nabazali. Kodwa xa uphonsa ukuxilongwa komhlaza kunye nokunyangwa kwi-dynamics yokuthandana, kunokunyaniseka ngakumbi.
Isigqibo sokutyhila umdlavuza wakho kumdla omtsha onothando awunakuba lula ukwenza. Yintoni abaya kuyenza ngayo? Ngaba uya kubayikisa? Ngaba baya kucinga ngawe?
Ukugqiba Ubani Omele Akhethe Kona Kubalulekile
Ngubani okhetha ukuthetha ngomhlaza wakho isigqibo somntu siqu. Abanye abantu bakhetha ukuba baxela ntoni, ngelixa abanye bavulekile ngakumbi ngohambo lwabo lomhlaza. Kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba akudingeki ukuba utshele wonke umntu onomdla ukuba unomdlavuza. I-Cancer inokuba yinxalenye enkulu ebomini bakho, kodwa ayichazi ukuba ungubani.
Nangona kunjalo, ufanele uxelele abo baqala ukuba ngababi kakhulu, mhlawumbi izinto ezihlala zihlala ebomini bakho.
Ukugqiba ixesha lokuthetha nge-Cancer yakho
Umbuzo uya kuba, nini ixesha elifanelekileyo lokubaxelela? Nazi izicwangciso ezimbalwa eziza kukunceda uthathe isigqibo sokuba nini kunye nendlela yokuxelela umntu omtsha ebomini bakho ngomhlaza wakho:
- Mamela i-intuition yakho. Mhlawumbi uyazi kakuhle xa ixesha lilungile ukuxelela umdla wakho wothando ukuba unomdlavuza. Intuition yakho, okanye ukuvakalelwa kwamanzi, uya kukuxelela ukuba umzuzu ulungile. Kungaba ngaphezu kwesidlo sothando okanye ngexesha lokuhamba okude. Kungenzeka kube sisigqibo sokuzikhethela okanye kunokufuna ukucwangciswa. Gcina ukhumbule ukuba ukuba ungeyintsholongwane ngomhlaza wakho, oko akuthethi ukuba umlingane wakho uya kuba nomvakalelo ofanayo. Igama elithi "umhlaza" lenza abantu babe nexhala. Batshele ngexesha elibavumela ukuba baqhube ngokwaneleyo into oye uyikhupha evulekile.
- Musa ukulinda ixesha elide. Ukuba ulindile kude kube ngumtshato wesidlo sakusihlwa ukutyhila imfihlelo yakho, ngoko uyaliliba ixesha elide kakhulu. Ewe, kukho ixesha elifanelekileyo lokuba nolwazi olubalulekileyo, kodwa akuyonto into ofuna ukuyiyeka. Ukuba ulinde ixesha elide iqabane lakho lingaziva lomsindo, lenzakele okanye lugculelwe. Ubudlelwane obuphilileyo buya kukhula ngokuthembela, kwaye ukuba ungeyinyanisekile, ngoko iqabane lakho lingawuthatha njengento yokuba ungakhohlisa kwezinye izinto.
- Ukunyaniseka nokuzayo. Xa usenza isigqibo sokuba uthethe nge-diagnostic and treatment, kubalulekile ukwenza njalo ngokunyaniseka. Okwangoku ufumene ukuba umhlaza wakho awukuthinteli kuphela, kodwa nabo bajikelezile. Umlingani wakho unelungelo lokukwazi ukuba isifo sakho sibi kangakanani nokuthi sinokuchaphazela njani ubomi babo ngokuba nobuhlobo kunye nawe.
- Yilungele ukuphendula imibuzo. Iqabane lakho okanye intombi yakho mhlawumbi iya kuba nemibuzo eninzi kukubuza malunga nohlobo lwakho lomhlaza kunye nendlela ekuchaphazela ngayo. Iqabane lakho lingathanda ukwazi malunga nokugxekwa kwakho, unyango lwakho, okanye ukuba ufa. Eminye imibuzo ingabonakala iyingozi, kodwa khumbula ukuba zixhalabisa kwaye kufuneka ziqwalaselwe.
- Yilungele ukuqhubeka nokuphendula imibuzo . Gcina ukhumbule ukuba uye waba nexesha elide ukuza ngokuvumelana nokuxilongwa kwakho kunye nayo yonke into enokuthi ithetha. Imibuzo ingenakufika yonke kanye. Ixesha liya kubanceda baqhube yonke into. Wonke umntu uya kusabela ngendlela eyahlukileyo kwaye kunzima ukuqikelela indlela umntu onokuphendula ngayo.
Ukujamelana Neempendulo Zomlingani Wakho
Abanye abantu banokuvakalelwa kukuba abanakukwazi ukujongana nobudlelwane nomntu onomdlavuza kwaye banokuyeka ukuba nolwalamano olusondeleyo kunye nawe.
Ukuphendula ngale ndlela kubangelwa ukwesaba, kodwa abanye abantu abakwazi ukujongana nokuhamba nomntu ogulayo. Ubuntu buphoso okanye akunjalo, awukwazi ukutshintsha uluvo lwabo ngomhlaza wakho, olungeleyo. Ufuna abantu abakuzungezile abaza kukuxhasa kwaye bakuphakamise, bangakuhlisiyo.
Ukuba uvakalelwa ukwesaba kakhulu malunga nokwabelana ngesifo sakho, ngenxa yokuba ukhathazekile unokufumana olu hlobo lokuphendula, unokufuna ukuphinda ukhangele imeko yakho kwimeko enye. Ukuxelela umntu osandul 'ukutshatana okanye usenokuba yinto enzulu kunye nokuba unomdlavuza yindlela eqinisekileyo yokukhupha iiplestile ezimbi kwiqela lakho.
Abo bangakwazi ukusingatha ukuxilongwa kwakho ngexesha lobudlelwane ngokuqinisekileyo baya kukwazi ukujongana kangcono nezinye iinkxalabo ezithe zafika xa isibini sidibene ndawonye ixesha elide.
Ndiyathemba ukuba intombi yakho okanye intombi yakho iyakwazi ukuyamkela umdlavuza kwaye ikubone endaweni yesifo. Awufuni ukuba bawubhale kwaye bawunaki umhlaza wakho, kodwa ukuqonda, ukwamkela kwaye uyazi ukuba kunokuchaphazela ubuhlobo. Qinisekisa ukuba ubanike ingcamango ecacileyo yokuba umhlaza unokuchaphazela njani ubomi babo njengobunye obalulekileyo. Ukuba banokukuvuma, umhlaza kunye nabo bonke, mhlawumbi ufumene umdla othe ngqo ozohlala uthembela kulo lonke unyango nangaphezulu.
I-Cancer ayiyonto kuphela
Ukuba uye wabelana ngokwenene nokuxilongwa kwakho kunye nomntu ofanelekileyo, ekugqibeleni uza kubona ukuba abantu abanokuthi banomdla kunye nokuthanda kwakhona emva komhlaza, kodwa umntu ophethe umdlavuza unokuba ngumthombo. Izifundo zisitshela ukuba umdlavuza utshintsha abantu ngendlela efanelekileyo , kungekhona nje embi. Ezi zifundo, ezijonge oko kuye kwabizwa ngokuba "ukukhula kwangemva kwesiganeko," ziye zafumanisa ukuba abantu abaninzi bavela kwicala elikude lokunyangwa konyango ngokubhekiselele kwimpumelelo engcono, inceba enkulu kwabanye, kunye nokudibanisa kwamandla kunye nokuthobeka. Ukuba ayisebenzanga okokuqala, musa ukuyeka. Unokubamba amachule ambalwa, kodwa inkosana (okanye i-princess) yinyaniso iya kuqonda indlela umlilo womhlaza ungabangela ngayo izinto ezintle.
Ngokuba Intombi okanye Intombi
Ukuba kwenzeka ukuba uyinkwenkwe okanye intombazana yomntu othe wakuxelela nje ukuba unomdlavuza, unokuba uzama ukuza kuqonda ukuba oko kuthetha ukuthini. Gcina ukhumbule ukuba njengoko ujamelana neemvakalelo zakho, kwakunzima kakhulu kunokwakho okunye okubalulekileyo ukwabelana naye. Khangela iingcebiso ezimbalwa malunga noko ungathetha (kunye noko ungathethi) kumntu onomdlavuza njengoko uqhubeka phambili kuyo nayiphi na indlela esilungele ngayo bobabini. Ungaphinda ufune ukujonga ezi ngcamango " kwinto enjani ukuhlala nomhlaza " ukuze ufumane ingqiqo enokukunceda uqonde.
Imithombo:
Cormio, C., Muzzatti, B., Romito, F., Mattioli, V., kunye noM Annunziata. Ukukhula kwe-Posttraumatic kunye neCarcer: Isifundo seMinyaka emihlanu Emva kokuphela kweMithi. Unonophelo loNcedo kwiCancer . 2016 Dec 24.
Kolokotroni, P., Anagnostopoulos, F., kunye no-A. Tsikkinis. Iingxaki zeengqondo ezihlobene ne-Posttraumatic Growth kwi-Breast Cancer Survivors: Uhlolo. ZeMpilo zeNtombi . 2014. 54 (6): 569-