Ndibuzwa ngokuthe tye ukuba indlela engcono ngayo "yokusondela" kwimeko yokunyamezela kwabantwana . Umbuzo uchazwa zizigulane ekliniki, ngoku-online, ukusuka kwimakrofoni ngexesha lee-Q & A kwiiseshoni zeenkomfa, kunye nakwabasebenzi beklinikhi. Kukho isizathu esihle sokuba nesisiseko ngesihloko. Kukho, ndicinga ukuba, into ethile enxulumene negama elithi "ukukhuluphala" kwindawo yokuqala, nangona oko kusenokwenzeka ukuba kwadlula emva kwexesha nje ukutshatyalaliswa kwexesha kuye kwasifisa.
Okwesibini, nawuphi na umntu omdala ohloniphekileyo uyaxabisa ukukhuseleka komntwana. Ukujamelana neengxaki ezibuhlungu, kwaye iimvakalelo ezinzima ziyakwazi ukuphazamiseka kakubi.
Yonke into inokubonisa ukuba impendulo ayifuni, okanye iyimfihlelo, okanye iyinkimbinkimbi. Kodwa enyanisweni, ndicinga ukuba akukho nto ingentla. Ndicinga ukuba ifikeleleke, ilula, kwaye ilula njengoko ingaba. Ndicinga ukuba indlela efanelekileyo yokunyamezela komntwana ingaboniswa ngegama elilodwa nje. Leli lizwi: uthando.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, umxholo apha uya kuba nedatha. Ukuba ubuya apha ngokuqhelekileyo, njengoko ndiyathemba ukuba uya kuba nolwazi olutsha kunye nolwazi olutsha, uza kuthunyelwa ngokukhawuleza kumaxilinksi ekhokelela kwizinto ezahlukeneyo zokufunda, amaphepha ophando ahlaziywe ngontanga ngokukodwa. Kodwa le nto yimeko yodwa. Kukho uncwadi olufanelekileyo olufunekayo ukuthetha, kodwa ndivuma ukuba oku kuvela entliziyweni. Oku kunokukwenza ngokuba ngumzali njengogqirha, kunye nokunye okunxulumene neminyaka engama-25 yokusebenzisana nabantu bokwenene kwiikliniki zam ngaphezu kokufunda idatha yophando malunga nabantu engazange ndidibane nayo.
Ukukhusela Abantwana Bakho Ukusuka Kwingozi
Uthando luyindlela efanelekileyo.
Abazali babantwana abancinci baqaphele ngokungazi kakuhle ubunzima bobunzima babo boonyana. Ngoba? Kuba ukuvuma "ukukhuluphala" kumntwana kucatshulwa njengento ephazamisayo kubo bonke abachaphazelekayo: umzali womzali, umzimba womntwana. Kodwa ukungawunaki ingxaki awuyikuyilungisa, kwaye ungagxininiswa, ukukhuluphala ekubuntwaneni kusenokuba ubonakalisa ubomi obuncitshisiwe: iminyaka embalwa yobomi, ubuncinane ubomi kwiminyaka.
Akukho mzali onothando ofuna oko. Ngoko isizathu sokuba uqaphele kwaye sisabele ekunyanyeni kukuthi: uthando.
Akukho nto echaphazelekayo enxulumene nokukhusela abo sibathandayo kuyo nayiphi na into engabalimaza. Akukho ntloni, ityala, ityala, okanye isigwebo esithintekayo ekukhuseleni abantwana bethu besongelo. Khangela, kwaye usabele kwiintshukumo zokuqala ukukhuluphala komntwana ngenxa yezizathu ezingenanto ukuyenza ngokuzikhukhumeza, okanye ukuhlazeka, okanye umfanekiso womzimba; impumelelo, okanye ukuhluleka. Shintsha zonke izinto ngothando. Ukuba uyabathanda abantwana bakho, yenza konke onokukukhusela. Thina njengabazali (okanye ootatomkhulu) asinakugxeka inyaniso yokuba siphila kwihlabathi leengozi ezinokufumana abantwana bethu, ukukhuluphala ngokweqile kunye ne-sequelae phakathi kwabo. Kodwa sisoloko sinoxanduva, sinothando njengesizathu sethu sokwenza konke esinokukukhusela.
Indlela yokusondela kwiSihloko
Ngokufanayo, abazali bezingane ezikhulile babonakala bengacatshangwanga malunga nesimo sobunzima babantwana babo, njengabantwana ngokwabo. Kwakhona, oku kungenxa yokuba isisindo sineenkalo zempumelelo kunye nokuhluleka, ukuzingca okanye ukuhlazeka. Abazali abazi indlela yokuxoxisana nesihloko nabantwana babo abadala, okanye abadala. Ootatomkhulu abakwaziyo ukuxoxisana nesihloko kunye nezingane zabo, ukujongana neengxaki malunga nabazukulwana babo.
Abazali abazi indlela yokuxelela umkhulu ukuba ayeke ukulahla ukutya okungenamsoco.
Uthando luyimpendulo kuyo yonke imeko. Umzali onothando unokuthi kumntwana kunoma yimuphi umdala: "Ndiyakuthanda, kwaye ndixhalabele ukuba ubunzima bakho bunokuchaphazela impilo yakho. Ndifuna ukuba ube nelona xesha lide kakhulu, ubomi obuhle kunokwenzeka kuba ndiyakuthanda. Ndinganceda njani? "
Naliphi na umzali onokuthi kunoma yimuphi na ootatomkhulu: "Ndiyazi ukuba uyabathanda abazukulwana bakho, kwaye ndiyazi ukuba ukuphatha kungabonakala kuyindlela enhle yokuyibonisa. Kodwa isipho esona sihle kunazo zonke esinokuyidlulisa kunye nempilo enamandla kunye nobukhulu; Abantu abanempilo banomdla ngakumbi! Nceda usebenze nam ukuba unike lo mntwana simthande ixesha elide, ubomi obuhle kakhulu. "
Kwaye loo nto, nawuphi na ugqirha unokuthi kwiphina isigulane: "Umsebenzi wam kukukhusela impilo yakho yonke into endinayo. Ndixhalabile ukuba ubunzima bakho bubungozi kwimpilo yakho, ngoko ndingathanda ukuxoxa nawe kunye nokuxoxa ngendlela esinokuyilungisa ngayo. Ngaba oku kulungile? "Ukuba ucela lo mbuzo kwaye uthetha: Andizange ndidibane nesigulana esathi" hayi. "
Ukusebenzisana kunye neMpilo
Ekugqibeleni, sonke siyazi i-adage: ngobunye, kukho amandla. Enye yezinto zethu eziphambili ekujonganeni nokukhuluphala kwamanzi kukuzihlukanisa, kunye kunye. Abantu abadala baya "kwiidlo" kwaye bashiye abantwana babo emva. Abazali bafuna isikhokelo ekujonganeni nokunyanya komntwana, kunokuba baqonde ukuba iintsapho zifumana impilo (kunye / okanye ukunciphisa umzimba) ngokuthe ngempumelelo kunye. Intsapho esebenza kunye ukuze ibe nempilo kwithuba elide igwema konke ukuhlambalaza kunye nehlazo lomntwana oyedwa "unyango" wokunyanyisa. Ukutya kakuhle kwaye kusebenze kakuhle kubo bonke abachaphazelekayo, nokuba kukho isidingo sokulahleka kwesisindo, okanye cha. Zibophelele kwimpilo njengentsapho, kuba akukho mntwana isiqithi. Ngenxa yokuba ubunye, kunamandla. Ngenxa yokuba nithandana.
Igama elilodwa lokukhuselana necala kunye neentloni; ihlazo kunye nokuphazamiseka; isigwebo kunye nokuzihlukanisa, uthando. Ukuba uthando luyimpembelelo yethu kwaye lukwazisa iindlela zethu, asinakukwazi ukuhamba kakubi kakhulu.