Ukwesaba ukushayela kwakuyiyona nto "yokuqala" yesifo se-multiple sclerosis, ekugqibeleni eyakhokelela ekubeni ndifumanise (nangona kwindlela ejikelezayo).
Kwakunzima, njengoko uninzi lwezi zimpawu - ndingena kwimoto kwaye ndiziva ndixhalabile ngoko nangoko. Ndiya kugxininisa, ndizenzele ukuba ndihambe, nangona ndandithuthuzela lonke ixesha. Ndandiziva ngathi ndikhona kumdlalo wevidiyo, nangona kwakukho ezinye iimoto ezimbalwa endleleni kwaye isantya siphume.
Imoto yokuguqula imoto eyiyure ezili-100 ngaphambi kwam iyazama ukuba ndivame kwi-brakes, njengoko kwakubonakala ngathi ukuxabana kwakungenakukhunjulwa "nabangenangqiqo" kunye nabaqhubi abaphosakeleyo endleleni. Ukusondeza isangqa sezithuthi kuya kuba yinkinga yokubamba isisu yokuzama ukufumana ukuvula, ukulinda ixesha elide, ekugqibeleni ukukhawuleza phambi kweendlela njengoko umntu ehloniphekile kwaye ekhwaza.
Wonke umntu endikukhankanyile oku ukuba unokuxilongwa kunye neengcebiso. "Ucinezelekile." Hayi, ndandingenjalo (ngaphandle kobuchule bokuqhuba). Ufuna ukulala okungaphezulu. Hayi, ndilele ngokuhle. "Kufuneka uqhubeke uqhuba." Ndaye ndiqhuba iminyaka engama-20, ngoko ke ndingeke ndikwazi ukuba lithetha ntoni lento.
Emva kokuba ndifumene ukuxilongwa kwe-MS, malunga neenyanga ezili-6 kamva, kwaye ndafunda okungakumbi malunga nesi sifo, izinto zenza ingqiqo. Ndicinga ukuba into endikujongayo yayiyindlela yokungaziqondi kakuhle , ukuphuculwa kweenkcukacha ezenza kube nzima ukudibanisa nokwenza amakhulu amancinci amancinci afakelwe ukuqhuba.
Le mihla, ndihamba ngeenyanga ngaphandle kokuqhuba. Oku kunzima, kwaye ndixhomekeka ngokukodwa kumyeni wam ukuba andincede ndiphume kwindlu ngempumelelo. Nangona kunjalo, kukho amaxesha amahle (ukuhamba-bulumko), apho ndiza kuhamba ngokuzithemba izitrato zendawo (asinayo iindwendwe) kwaye ndizive ngathi ndilawulwa yendalo yonke.
Kukho kwakhona phakathi kwexesha, apho ndifumanisa khona ukuya kwindawo eya kwam, ndiqonda ukuba mhlawumbi le nto ayilungile - ngeli thuba, ndihlala ndiqhuba ingxoxo engqondweni, ndixelele ukuba ukukhanya kwezithuthi kuya kuza kwaye slam kwiibhuleki xa umntu ehlisa isantya phambi kwam.
Musa ukungalunganga-andiyikuqhuba ukuba ndicinga ukuba ndiyingozi okanye ukuba ndiziva ndixhalabele. Ngaphambi kokuba ndiphume, ndihlala ndizibuza ukuba ndivakalelwa njani kwaye ukuba yinto efanelekileyo ukufumana emva kwesondo. Ndivumele ukuba ndidideke, kodwa ndiziqhenyce ngokwam "ukukhula," ukuba ndiyigqibo sokuba ndimele ndihlale ekhaya.
Uthini ngawe? Ngaba uqhuba? Ngaba uziva uxhalabile? Ngaba bekukho umcimbi othile xa uzisola ngokuqhuba? Uyekile ukuqhuba? Nceda, wabelane ngebali lakho kwicandelo lamazwana apha ngezantsi.