Ubomi buzisa iintlekele. Ukuba wena okanye umntu obathandayo uye wafunyaniswa ukuba unesigxina okanye ubomi obude, isifo esingapheliyo, kunokuthi kube yintlekele ebomini bakho. Ukuva amagama athi "umhlaza" okanye "i-Alzheimer" okanye "isifo sikashukela" okanye "iParkinson" okanye "isifo senhliziyo" kuya kuthetha ukuba awuzange nje ulungele umzimba, kodwa ukukhathazeka kwengqondo nangokomzwelo, naye.
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Amanyathelo okujongana nokuxilongwa okunzimaIimpazamo zonyango kunye neephene kwiinkonzo zempilo zakha izigidi zamatsha amatsha ngonyaka. Abantu baxhatshazwa ixesha elifutshane okanye ubomi. Amakhulu amawaka afa . Kulabo bahlupheke ngeempazamo zonyango, okanye abo bathandekayo bangamaxhoba okuchithwa kakubi, iziphumo zinokutshintsha ubomi. Ziyintlekele, nayo.
Indlela esinokujamelana ngayo neentlekele zethu, kunye nemiphumo yabo ebomini bethu bonke, ichaza indlela esihlala ngayo ubomi bethu ukususela kuloo mzuzu. Imiphumo ingaba yintlangano yemvelo, yengqondo kunye nemvakalelo.
Ngamanye amaxesha indlela yokuyidlula iyacaca. Ngokomzekelo, i-antibiotics ingabulala isifo esibanjwe esibhedlele . Ngamanye amaxesha, ayancinci ngenxa yokuchaswa okungaziwa. Kuzo zonke iimeko, kuya kuba nemiphumo yengqondo kunye nemvakalelo esimele sijongane ngayo thina nakwabathandekayo bethu.
Abanye bethu bayazibuza ukuba siqhelekile. Ukunyamezela kuba yinto ebonakala ingenakwenzeka kwabanye, kunye nokufuna abanye. Ukuba uye wafumanisa ukuba unesifo esibulalayo, okanye ukuba umgangatho wakho wobomi uphatywe ngephutha lezokwelapha, unokudlula njani intlungu kunye nentlungu? Kwaye kufuneka uhlangabezane njani na?
Unokumangaliswa ukuba ufumene ukuba kukho izikhokelo zokukunceda uqonde kwaye uphumelele kwinkqubo yokulila, ukubeka isiteji kukunceda uqale ukujamelana nayo.
Amanqanaba amahlanu okuxakeka kuDkt Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Izigaba zintlanu zosizi zaveliswa kwaye zichazwe nguDkt. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross ngo-1969 encwadini yakhe, ethi Death and Dying . Ezi zigaba ziphika, intukuthelo, ukuxoxisana, ukudandatheka kunye nokwamkelwa. Babizwa ngokuba yi Model Kubler-Ross kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kuthiwa yi- DABDA .
Ngaphambi kokuba sijonge umzekelo, siza kujonga "imigaqo" ehamba kunye nabo ukuze uqale ukuqonda isigaba ngasinye, kuya kuba ngcono ukukwazi ukubona ukuba ungaphi ngaphakathi kwabo kwaye kufuneka ukhangele phambili xa unenkathazo okanye ukuxilongwa okunzima ukujamelana nayo.
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Imithetho eLawulayo malunga neNqanaba leMvalelo kunye nokuTshintsho kwaboNantsi imigaqo esetyenziswa kwiiNqanaba likaBubler-Ross of Distress. Xa uqonda imigaqo yazo, uya kuqonda kakuhle indlela yokujonga ukuma kwakho kwangoku, kwaye zeziphi izigaba oya kudingeka ukuba utshintshe.
Umthetho wesi-1: Unokusetyenziswa kwiNkanye into eyenza Usizi
Mhlawumbi kuya kuba sisifo sakho, okanye mhlawumbi ube lixhoba lephulo lonyango. Okanye, mhlawumbi ulahlekelwe ngumlingane, okanye nokuba inja yakho yafa. Nangona xa iqabane lakho liphuka kunye nawe okanye ikhaya lakho lichitheliswe nguMama Wendalo - nantoni na eyokuzisa usizi kuya kwenza ukuba i-Kubler-Ross Model ifake isicelo kuwe.
Umthetho # 2: Amanyathelo kaMeyi, okanye aMekhona, Makube ngokwesiXhosa
Umzekelo, ukuba unobungozi bonyango, mhlawumbi uqala ukuthukuthela, ngaphambi kokukhanyela ukuba kwenzekile kuwe. Ngokomzekelo waseKubler-Ross, akusiyo umyalelo ukuba izigaba zentlungu zidla ngoku, kodwa oko kunokuba ngamava akho.
Umthetho wesi-3: Awukwazi ukufumana onke amanqanaba
Unokwamkela imeko yakho entsha kwaye uqhubeke ngaphandle kokudandatheka, okanye unokukhululeka xa ekugqibeleni ufumanisa ukuba unento kwaye ungalokothi uphike ukuba ugula ngokwenene. Ngaphezulu, uya kuguqulwa kuzo zonke, kodwa ungazi ukuba yintoni oyenzayo.
Umthetho wesi-4: Unokuthi uxoxe ezinye iiNqanaba
Ngokukodwa kwimeko yesifo esingaguqukiyo sokugula, unokuqhubeka ubuyela kwisigaba sokuxoxisana rhoqo xa ubonisa iimpawu ezintsha okanye unobungozi.
Umthetho wesi-5: Unokuthi uqhube kwiSigaba esinye
Umzekelo omhle ngumntu olahlekelwe ngumthandayo kwiimpazamo zezokwelapha ongazange adlule umsindo. Okanye umntu ogxininisekile ngenxa yokulahlekelwa ngumthandayo kwaye uhlala ecinezelekile iminyaka ezayo.
Umthetho wesi-6: Akukho Bantu Ababini Abajongene Nama nqanaba Ngendlela Efanayo okanye Ngexesha Elifanayo
Ukuba umhlobo wakho ufunyanwe ukuba unesifo esibulalayo, uya kuhamba kwezi zigaba, kodwa kungekhona ngokufanayo nendlela oya kuyenza ngayo. Ukuba ulahlekelwe ngumntwana kwimpazamo yezokwelapha, unako ukuhlala unamathele kwelinye lamanyathelo ngelixa umzali omnye womntwana eqhubeka ehamba kwiinqanaba.
Izinga ezahlukeneyo zokutshintsha akuthethi umntu oyedwa osilela ngakumbi okanye ngaphantsi. Zizo, ngokulula, iintlawulo ezahlukeneyo zenguqu, njengabantu abathile ababuhlungu.
Ngoku ukuba uyayiqonda indlela le mithetho ifaka ngayo kumagangatho, makhe sijonge kwiinqanaba zentlungu (ebizwa ngokuba yiSiteyathelo sokuFa nokuPhela okanye iiNqanaba zokuLahleka.)
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Amanqanaba 1, 2 kunye no-3Isigaba sokuqala sosizi: Ukulahla
Xa siqala ukulahlekelwa yilahleko, sinokutshatyalaliswa kwaye sizive sisindile. Sibeka iimvakalelo zethu kunye nemvakalelo kwi-shelf, kwaye siqala ukuhamba kwiinkalo zobomi. Siyazi ngokusesikweni ukuba sinokuningi ukufunda, kunye nezigqibo zokwenza, kunye nemisebenzi yokwenza, kodwa, ubuncinane ekuqaleni, sizama ukubonakala ngathi akukho nto ishintshile kwaye ubomi abuchaphazelekayo.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, awukwazi ukuqala ukuya kumanyathelo alandelayo uze uqale ukugqithisa isigaba sokwenqaba.
Isigaba sesiBini sosizi: Intukuthelo
Yikholwa okanye akunjalo, ukuba uphelelwa ngumsindo, sele usudlulile ubuncinci kwiinqanaba (ukukhanyela) ngenxa yokuba awukwazi ukuthukuthela ukuba awuzange uzivumele ukuba kukho into eyingozi. Ingqumbo yakho ingaba yayazi, okanye ingenakuqonda.
Intukuthelo iya kubuyisa into eyingozi, kodwa iyimfuneko kwiindlela ezininzi ezahlukeneyo. Unokuba nobuhlungu kuwe (andifanele ndidle inyama ebomvu okanye i-sugary treats!). Unokuba ngumphathi kumenzi wecala lakho lezonyango (ukuba loo dokotela ogqirha wayeyinyamekele, umyeni wam akayi kufa!). Unokuthukuthela kuMama Wendalo ngokuthatha into ethandekayo kuwe. Unokuba nobudlova kuThixo kuba awukwazi ukuqonda ukuba uThixo onothando unokuvumela loo ntlekele.
Ukufumana umsindo ngenye indlela esinokujamelana ngayo nentlungu. Ngokukodwa xa sikwazi ukuchaza ukuba ngubani okanye oko sikugxininise ingqumbo yethu, kusenza sibe netyala lokubamba. Xa sinokumangalela, ngoko sinento into esinokuyenza ngayo loo msindo.
Phakathi kwalawo ahlupheke ngeempazamo zonyango, loo msindo kunye nesityholo sendawo yindawo abahlala behlala kuyo. Yilapho abantu abaninzi baqala ukufunda ngokuxhotyiswa kwezigulane . Kwakhona apho abantu abaninzi benza ukhetho lokufakela izigwebo ezimbi .
Isigaba sesithathu sosizi: Ukuxoxisana
Le yiyo "kuphela" isigaba esiza kujoliswa kuthi, okanye kumntu esicinga ukuba unokunceda. Yinqanaba apho sizama ukuphazamisa ithemba lokuba senze i ntlekele, apho sifuna ukurhweba inyaniso yethu kwinto enye kwaye sinokwenza isithembiso sokuqiniseka ukuba akusayi kuphinda senzeke kwakhona. Le yinqanaba lokuba abo batyala banokuthi bangene, okanye babuyele ngokuphindaphindiweyo.
"Ukuba nje ndingazange ndenze oko-nanjalo" okanye "Ndiyathembisa ukuba ndize ndiphinde ndiyenze X."
I-Bargaining yinqanaba apho abaninzi abantu basebenzisa umthandazo, benethemba lokuba nabani na uThixo wabo uya kubancedisa kwiimeko zabo, benze izithembiso kuThixo wabo ukuba ukuba ingxaki iyaxolelaniswa, baya kwenza into enhle ngokubuyisela.
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Izigaba 4 no-5Ngoku sele udlulile kwiinqanaba zokuqala ezintathu zentlungu (nangona ungeke uhambe nazo ngokulandelelana), siya kwiinqanaba ezimbini zokugqibela.
Isigaba sesine sosizi: Ukudandatheka
Yikholwa okanye cha, ukufikelela kwindawo yokudakumba kunokubonisa ukuba ngokwenene ujamelana nentlungu yakho-isiphumo esihle. Xa udimazelekile ngenxa yentlekele okanye ukulahleka kwakho, kubonisa ukuba usekwinqanaba lokuqala lokumkela kwaye ulungele ukujongana nayo. Uziva ungenanto, ubuhlungu, ukwesaba, ukuzisola kunye nokungaqiniseki, kodwa usenxilongo kuzo. Iimvakalelo zisenamandla kakhulu kwaye zinzima kakhulu ukuhlangabezana nazo.
Kodwa ngandlela-thile, ziindaba ezilungileyo ukuba uhlala kwindawo yokudandatheka. Ukukwazi ukuvakalelwa loo mvakalelo njengoko ujongana nokudakumba kwakho kunokuthetha ukuba uzilungiselele kwisigaba sokugqibela - ukwamukelwa. Kungenokuba nzima ukukholelwa, kodwa ukusebenzisana ngumqondiso othembekileyo wokuba, ngezinye iindawo, uza kudlula intlungu yakho.
IsiGaba sesithandathu sosizi: Ukwamkela
Okokuqala, yazi ukuba ukwamkelwa ngandlela-thile kuthetha ukuba nayiphi na intlekele okanye isiganeko esibi oye wabambisana nayo yayilungile okanye ukuba kulungile. Kuthetha nje ukuba ulungele ukuqhubeka-ukujongana nenyaniso yakho. Yinkqubo yokunqanyulwa kwiimvakalelo, kunye nophuhliso "ixesha lokuba uqhubeke nalo" ngombono wokujonga. Yindawo oyaziyo ukuba uyajamelana nayo.
Ukwamkela kuyinqoqo. Usikhulula kwiintlobo zokuvutha komsindo kunye nokusola, okanye ukuxhatshazwa rhoqo kwixinzelelo. Ivumela ukuba sizisebenzise ngokunxulumene nezilivere zesilivere, nazo. Kulabo abanenhlanhla ngokwaneleyo ukusinda intlungu yesifo sonyango, kusenza sikwazi ukuphinda siphucule ubomi bethu, sigxininise ubudlelwane bethu obalulekileyo kunye nokucacisa oko kubaluleke ngokwenene ubomi bomgangatho. Kwabo banesifo esipheleleyo, kubavumela ukuba bafumane uvuyo ngexesha abaye bahamba ngalo.
Xa siqonda izigaba zentlungu kunye nendlela abadla ngayo ebomini bethu, siyaqonda ukuba kungakhathaliseki ukuba sisabela njani kwintlungu okanye ilahleko, sisabela kwiindlela eziqhelekileyo, kwaye ukuba kusekho iindlela ezininzi ukuphendula ngexesha elithile eliza kusikhokela ekubhekiselele kwimpilweni yobomi.
Umbhalo osemazantsi: Isithandathu sesithandathu sokuxakeka
Isigaba sesithandathu sosizi mhlawumbi sisona sikhululekile kwaye senzeke kulabo bantu baqala ukuthatha amava abo kwaye benze into enhle kwabanye. Kubizwa ngokuba "ukusinda okuqhubekayo." Kwakungabonakaliswa nguKubler-Ross, kodwa kunokusindiswa kakhulu kuzo zonke izigaba zentlungu.